2017 -- SS SPOOKTACULAR ~ 10/28 **RESULTS** @ BELMONT

RUFFIAN · October 31, 2017, 08:15:45 PM

2017 SPOOKY RESULTS

GOOD AFTERNOON & WELCOME
TO A SPECIAL SUPURRR-SATURDAY

FEATURING ~THE ANNUAL SPOOKTACULAR EVENT~

OUR FEATURE EVENT TODAY IS: THE SPOOKS -&- SPECTRES STAKES
PRESENTED BY: TRICK -OR- TREATS

FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
WE OFFER SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY

YOU ALWAYS HAVE WATCHED HORSES RUN ~
YOU MAY HAVE SEEN CAMELS - LLAMAS - OSTRICH - DOGS -
EVEN TURTLES RACE, THO THAT'S NOT QUITE AS EXCITING
AND REQUIRES A VERY SLOW -&- PATIENT MIND TO APPRECIATE

TODAY WE OFFER A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE
THAT WILL LIVE IN YOUR MEMORY
AND PERHAPS, FOR SOME, EVEN IN YOUR NIGHTMARES

PLEASE DON'T BE FRIGHTENED WHEN THE PARTICIPANTS
ENTER THE TRACK FOR THE POST PARADE

HIGH SECURITY IS IN PLACE
TO PREVENT HARM TO RUNNERS -&- VISITORS
THANKS TO THE BODACIOUS BELMONT SECURITY BRIGADE

** TODAY'S EVENT DOES CARRY A RATING OF PG-13**

**ALSO POSSIBLE INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE, NUDITY,
VULGARITY, MILD VIOLENCE, -&- BAWDY HUMOR

OUR GUEST TRACK ANNOUNCER TODAY IS:
**CASPER ~ THE FRIENDLY GHOST**

PLEASE GIVE HIM A WARM WELCOME BUT DO NOT BE ALARMED
WHEN YOU SEE HIM FLOATING OVERHEAD, AS HE WILL NOT BE
DOING THE RACE CALL FROM THE USUAL ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH!
HE WILL BE HOVERING OVER THE TRACK FOR THE ENTIRE RACE

2 VERY SPECIAL ''SPIRIT'' GUESTS HAVE MANAGED TO HITCHHIKE
ABOARD THE T.A.R.D.I.S (*TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSION IN SPACE)
WITH THE CONSENT OF DR WHO, TO JOIN US IN TODAY'S FESTIVITIES
CELEBRATING THE SPOOKTACULAR

A MOMENT OF SILENCE ~ AFFECTION -&- APPRECIATION
TO WELCOME: CRIMINAL TYPE -&- JOHN HENRY

~OUR POST PARADE IS ABOUT TO START~
SO PLEASE GIVE A STANDING OVATION TO
THE 2017 SPOOKTACULAR PARTICIPANTS:

~CHESHIRE CAT~
(In Wonderland) =========== TRAINED BY: RUFFIAN

~CARMEN SANDIEGO~
(Gumshoe / Master Thief) ===== TRAINED BY: CATALINA

~MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT~ ==== TRAINED BY: POST TIME MIKE
(Horror Host Sci Fi TV)

~SEVEN OF NINE~
(Star Trek Voyager) ========= TRAINED BY: PEEPTOAD

~INIGO MONTOYA~
(Princess Bride) ============ TRAINED BY: REAL QUIET (DC)

~PETER GRIFFIN~
(Family Guy) ============= TRAINED BY: CIGARSHOP

~RIVER SONG~
(Dr Who-Time Traveler) ======= TRAINED BY: DUSTY

~TRUMP-IN-DRAG~ ========== TRAINED BY: BLUNNY

~YORICK~
(Hamlet) =============== TRAINED BY: THUNDER CAT

~LADY GODIVA~
(Bodacious & Bare) ======== TRAINED BY: TIGER DANCER

WE NOW TURN YOU OVER TO OUR TRACK ANNOUNCER: CASPER

THE PARTICIPANTS ARE AT THE STARTING LINE READY TO RUN

AND THEY'RE OFF -- IN THE 2017 SPOOKTACULAR ...

EVERYONE AWAY IN FAIRLY GOOD FASHION
EXCEPT FOR INIGO MONTOYA WHO STUMBLED BADLY ~
HIS SWORD, NEARLY IMPALING PETER GRIFFIN
WHOSE BELLY WAS SAVED JUST IN TIME FROM SERIOUS INJURY!

OUT FOR A SHORT LEAD ARE
THE CHESHIRE CAT AND 7-OF-9

THAT DUO IS FOLLOWED BY
A QUICKLY RECOVERING PETER GRIFFIN WHO,
IN SPITE OF A HEAVY WEIGHT DISADVANTAGE,
SEEMS TO BE MOVING ALONG RATHER WELL IN THE EARLY GOING!

LADY GODIVA IS RIGHT THERE
SHE SEEMS TO BE A MAJOR DISTRACTION TO PETER GRIFFIN
WHO, NOW, IS HAVING TROUBLE RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE!

RIVER SONG IS GAINING GROUND VERY QUICKLY
ON THE FRONT RUNNING FIVE IN THE LEAD

TRUMP-IN-DRAG IS HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY
AS HIS GOWN IS TURNING INTO A BAD CHOICE OF ATTIRE,
CAUSING A MAJOR DIFFICULTY IN THE ART OF RUNNING!

IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO YORICK
WHO IS JUST 'ROLLING'ALONG
BUT NOT GAINING MUCH SPEED YET
(Can't Find His Running Legs Since He Has None!)

EVEN FARTHER BACK ARE MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT~
CARMEN SANDIEGO -&- A STRUGGLING INIGO MONTOYA

OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME

RIVER SONG WITH A VERY SUDDEN SURGE OF SPEED
HAS NOW TAKEN QUITE A BIG LEAD ~ ~ ALTHOUGH FOR AN INSTANT ~
IT ALMOST SEEMED AS IF SHE 'DISAPPEARED' THEN REAPPEARED?

WITH A BIG GRIN ON HER FACE,
THE CHESHIRE CAT IS RIGHT THERE
NOT LETTING RIVER SONG RUN AWAY WITH THE LEAD!

THIS DUO HAS SEPARATED THEMSELVES FROM
THE REST OF THE FIELD -- BY AT LEAST 20+ LENGTHS
PUTTING ON QUITE A DISPLAY OF SPEED -&- POWER!

TRUMP-IN-DRAG NOT ONLY HAVING MAJOR GOWN ISSUES ~
BUT ALSO NOW HAS ANOTHER SITUATION TO DEAL WITH
AS LADY GODIVA IS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM AND THE POOR GUY
LOSING FOCUS ~ IS VEERING ALL OVER THE TRACK!

PETER GRIFFIN IS NEXT BUT HAVING TROUBLE TRYING TO RUN
BEHIND A BARE-NEKKED-LADY & KEEP HIS MIND ON RUNNING!

IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT ~
CARMEN SANDIEGO ~ YORICK ~ 7-OF-9 ~
AND A STILL VERY SLUGGISH INIGO MONTOYA
WHO SEEMS TO HAVING A MAJOR ISSUE WITH THE TRACK TODAY
OR ~ PERHAPS SOMETHING ELSE?

THEY'VE REACHED THE TOP OF THE STRETCH

RIVER SONG ALL ALONE NOW ON THE LEAD

AS THE CHESHIRE CAT GOT A BIT DISTRACTED
BY A FLOCK OF BIRDS OVERHEAD -AND-
PROBABLY THINKING OF ''DINNER'' ~ NOT RUNNING!
=

A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD HAS EVERYONE UP ON THEIR FEET!
WHAT COULD IT BE TO CAUSE SUCH A BOLD-RUCKUS?

IT'S A BLURR OF NUDITY AS THE BARE-NAKED-LADY GODIVA
HAS TURNED UP THE HEAT (CAUSE SHE MIGHT BE GETTING CHILLY)
AND NOW HAS STOLEN THE LEAD AWAY FROM RIVER SONG!

THE CHESHIRE CAT, WITH HER COMPOSURE REGAINED IS NEXT

YORICK IS BEGINNING TO ''ROLL'' ALONG RATHER QUICKLY ~
PASSING MANY IN THE WAY ~ GIVING SOME A SUDDEN FRIGHT

MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT ~
FINALLY WAKING UP HIS INNER 'MAD SCIENTIST'
FOUND HIS BEST FORMULA OF SPEED, AND
IS NOW GAINING GROUND ON THE 4 IN FRONT OF HIM

POOR PETER GRIFFIN, WITH SO MUCH 'JUNK-IN-THE-TRUNK'
IS STRUGGLING BADLY --- JUST TRYING TO KEEP UP

TRUMP-IN-DRAG ~ FINDING IT TOO LATE TO RECONSIDER HIS
GOWN CHOICE, IS TRIPPING OVER THE DRESS SO BADLY THAT
ANY CHANCE OF A DECENT CLOSING KICK IS FUTILE!

STILL FAR BACK ARE 7-OF-9 WHO SEEMS TO HAVE HER HEAD IN
THE CLOUDS ELSEWHERE, BUT NOT FOCUSSED ON RUNNING

CARMEN SANDIEGO ~ TRYING TO FIGHT OFF INIGO MONTOYA
WHO HAS BEEN SNEAKING UP ON HER,
IN AN ATTEMPT TO STEAL THE LEANING-TOWER-OF-PISA
SHE HAS ATTACHED TO THE SADDLE
WHICH MAY BE THE REASON FOR HER SLOWNESS TODAY?

DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME

LADY GODIVA NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS OF BEING CHILLY
HAS INCREASED HER LEAD, SHOWING HER BARE-BEHIND
TO ALL THE ONES NOW TRYING TO CATCH HER
BUT WITH THEIR FOCUS ALL ASKEW ~
NONE ARE GAINING ON THE BARE-NAKED-LADY YET

RIVER SONG IS SLOWLY GAINING ON LADY GODIVA AS THE
NUDITY FACTOR HAS NO EFFECT ON HER AS IT HAS ON SOME

YORICK SUDDENLY KICKED INTO A TINA TURNER IMPRESSION OF
PROUD MARY = ''ROLLIN, ROLLIN, KEEP ON TURNIN'' AND HAS
ROLLED RIGHT ON BY THE CHESHIRE CAT -- WHO NOW DOESN'T
SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A BIG GRIN ON HER FACE!

MORGUS IS SO CLOSE TO YORICK, HE NEARLY STUMBLED
OVER THE SKULL IN HIS PATH! THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE!

PETER GRIFFIN WITH SO MUCH ''EXCESS BAGGAGE'' IS STRUGGLING
AND POSSIBLY MENTALLY CONSIDERING A VISIT TO JENNY CRAIG!

TRUMP-IN-DRAG HAS ALMOST DESTROYED THE GOWN INTO SHREDS
AS HE KEEPS ON TRYING TO RUN, WITHOUT ANY SUCCESS

7-OF-9 -&- CARMEN SANDIEGO FAR BACK
ONLY AHEAD OF A VERY TIRED, STRUGGLING INIGO MONTOYA
WHO MAY BE VANNED OFF AND EXAMINED AFTER THE RACE
TO DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT CAUSED
THIS USUALLY SPEEDY SWORDSMAN -- TO RUN LIKE A SNAIL!

SUDDENLY AN EXPLOSIVE ROAR FROM THE CROWD AS THE
WIRE LOOMS JUST AHEAD

LADY GODIVA WAY IN FRONT GLANCES BACK OVER HER SHOULDER
BUT SEES NOTHING!!!
SO WHAT COULD BE CAUSING THE REACTION FROM THE CROWD ~
NOW SCREAMING LIKE A PACK OF WILD BANSHEES

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, WITH NO PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATION ~
RIVER SONG HAS SUDDENLY APPEARED IN FRONT OF LADY-GODIVA

BUT -----HOW CAN THAT BE?

THE TARDIS WAS DECLARED ILLEGAL TO USE
DURING THE RUNNING OF THE RACE
BUT COULD RIVER SONG HAVE IGNORED THAT WARNING ~
THINKING THAT SOMEHOW, SHE COULD GET AWAY WITH IT

AND AS RIVER SONG HAS CROSSED THE FINISH LINE
THERE ARE MULTIPLE OBJECTION LIGHTS FLASHING!

TRAINERS RUNNING OUT ON THE FIELD ~ FAST -&- FURIOUS ~

OUTRAGED BY WHAT MAY BE A DISQUALIFICATION
IF IT IS DISCOVERED THAT RIVER SONG
INDEED USED THE TARDIS TO JUMP TIME -&- SPACE
IN ORDER TO WIND UP IN FRONT OF LADY GODIVA,
WHO BY NOW, IS ANYTHING BUT 'CHILLY' ~ FUMING ~ ON FIRE

THE STEWARDS ARE SURROUNDED BY GRUMBLING, SHOUTING,
NAME-CALLING, FURY, AS THEY RETIRE TO REVIEW THE REPLAY

** HOLD ALL TICKETS **

AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY OF WAITING ~
THE STEWARDS HAVE ANNOUNCED THEIR FINAL DECISION

WITH AN APOLOGY TO LADY GODIVA, THEY SAY THEY CANNOT
FIND THE ADEQUATE 'PROOF' THAT RIVER SONG USED THE TARDIS

THIS DECISION MAY BE UP FOR MANY A DISCUSSION LATER ON
IN BARS, SPEAK-EASY'S, PASTURES, SHIPS, IN DEEP SPACE,
GRAVEYARDS, WONDERLAND, -&- EVEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

BUT THE FINAL WORD BY THOSE IN CHARGE IS OFFICIAL

OBJECTIONS INCLUDE:

ILLEGAL USE OF TIME -&- SPACE BY RIVER SONG (Dismissed)

AN ACCUSATION THAT LADY GODIVA WAS SEEN EARLIER
TRYING TO 'ENTICE / BRIBE' THE STEWARDS
PREYING ON THEIR MASCULINE VULNERABILITY ~
IT DIDN'T WORK THO
*A PENDING INVESTIGATION -&- POSSIBLE FINE

INIGO MONTOYA = FINED FOR ILLEGAL SWORD FIGHT
TRYING TO STEAL FROM CARMEN SANDIEGO DURING THE RACE

MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT TELLS STEWARDS THAT HE IS SURE
THE CHESHIRE CAT DISAPPEARED RIGHT AT THE WIRE WITH
ONLY HER SMILE VISIBLE, WHICH SCARED HIM SO BADLY, HE
LOST HIS MOMENTUM AS WELL AS THE PRECIOUS!

INVESTIGATION OF INIGO MONTOYA'S SADDLE BAGS FINALLY
REVEALED THE REASON FOR SUCH A SLUGGISH EFFORT!
IN THE SADDLE BAG THEY DISCOVERED THE OFFICIAL BOOK OF RULES
THE SIZE -&- WEIGHT OF THAT BOOK WOULD SLOW EVEN ''THE FLASH''

SO THE 2017 SPOOKY SPOOKTACULAR NOW COMES TO AN END
THE SPONSORS SINCERELY OFFER THEIR APOLOGIES FOR ANY
IMPENDING NIGHTMARES SOME FANS MAY INCUR LATER ON

$$-OFFICIAL RESULTS-$$

1st ~ RIVER SONG ============ $160.90
(*Sneaky Sudden Use Of A V.I.P. Code In Final Furlong!)
~WINNER -&- BADASS OF BELMONT~

2nd ~ LADY GODIVA =========== $141.30
(*Consoled by Peter Griffin After The Race Who Seemed As Upset As She Was)
~RUNNER-UP / BRIDESMAID~
**WORE DRESS FOR AWARDS PRESENTATION

3rd ~ YORICIK =============== $81.10
(*Inspired By Tina Turner In Final Furlong To Roll By Cheshire Cat)
~FLOWER-BEARER~

4th ~ CHESHIRE CAT =========== $76.90
(*NO Smile In Sight! Appears Disgruntled, Dismayed, Depressed ~
But Secretly Grinning Within As She Covets The Precious!
She Holds NO Fear Of Gollum, Being Able To Disappear In An Instant)
~RING-BEARER~

~~ ALSO RAN (Or Waddled / Stumbled / Grumbled) ~~

MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT ======= $76.20
(*Still Convinced The Cheshire Cat Pulled A Fast One At The Wire)

PETER GRIFFIN =============== $63.80
(* Jenny Craig maybe)

TRUMP-IN-DRAG =============== $42.50
(*Has Fired His Dress Designer! )

7 OF 9 ===================== $26.20
(*Signed On For Another Tour-Of-Duty In Space)

CARMEN SANDIEGO ============= $19.20
(*Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?
Probably In The Cat House Overdosing On Catnip!)

(DC) INIGO MONTOYA ============ $11.50
(*In The 'Stockade' For Sword Fight -&- Attempted Robbery)
Also The 1st Recipient Of The Yo-Yo-Dude Award!

*********************************************
WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD -&- SPOOKY EVENING
FULL OF TRICKS AND TREATS
MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS BE SWEET, SASSY -&- SUPURRR

~~ Graphics By: TIGER DANCER ~~

2017 -- SS SPOOKTACULAR ~ 10/28 RESULTS @ BELMONT

RUFFIAN

Dusty

blunny

Catalina

TIGER DANCER

Real Quiet

Cigarshop

Dusty

THUNDER CAT

PostTimeMike

peeptoad