B L I N D  L U C K  ~  A DERBY CONTEST
                     

THE ANTICIPATION FINALLY OVER
WE NOW KNOW ALL OF THE THE NAMES
PLEASE REPLY WITH YOUR REACTIONS
TO THIS INTUITION STYLE GAME!


1. Firenze Fire

2. Free Drop Billy =====> POST TIME MIKE

3. Promises Fulfilled

4. Flameaway =======> PEEPTOAD

5. Audible

6. Good Magic

7. Justify ===========> CIGARSHOP

8. Lone Sailor =======> CATALINA

9. Hofburg =========> DUSTY

10. My Boy Jack ====> CRUZAN

11. Bolt D'Oro ======> TIGER DANCER

12. Enticed

13. Bravazo ========> RUFFIAN + THUNDER CAT

14. Mendelssohn

15. Instilled Regard ===> BLUNNY

16. Magnum Moon

17. Solomini

18. Vino Rosso

19. Noble Indy

20. Combatant

         

IRASCIBLE ~ IMPURRRVIOUS ~ IMPROBABLE ~
      INCOHERENT IN INDIANA

I CAN FEEL THE DOORS OPENING TO THE CAT HOUSE
      I CAN ALREADY SMELL THE CATNIP GALORE
   HOPE THE 'THUNDER DOWN UNDER' DANCERS
      ARE READY TO ENTERTAIN AS I SCORE
       :chickendance:     :chickendance:    :chickendance:


R1 >>>   3  4  5  2  1
INDIAN FEATHER

PROPER REBELLION
INDY DANCERS


R2 >>>   5  4  2  6  1
SEYMOUR KID (Gone Astray)

NOBLE SOWLE
WILLS DEFENCE


R3 >>>   6  5  4  3  2
GALLANT LADY

OLYMPIC SMOKE (Glacken!)
SASHENKA (*Dam = Lucky Monkey!)


R4 >>>   5  6  3  4  2
MISCHIEVIOUS KAT   

DESERT THIEF
AMERICAN HOLIDAY (American Lion)


R5 >>>  4  3  6  1  5
SIR SHACK

SCHMOODS
STUDY HABITS


R6 >>>   3  5  7  6  2
EVADER

ZONED IN
GIFTED JUSTICE


R7 >>>   2  7  3  1  4
HADDA NOTION (*Headin to The Cat House)

KARFAGEN
CHERBURASHKA


R8 >>>   5  4  3  2  1
OUTER LIMITS (Ruffian's Mind) 

I'M IN TROUBLE
BEAUTILICIOUS

               **RESULTS**

         
     GOOD AFTERNOON -&- WELCOME
          TO SUPURRR SATURDAY
COMING TO YOU FROM CHURCHILL DOWNS

   FEATURE EVENT: THE TWIN SPIRES STAKES
      *Applauded Loudly By All Gemini Folk*



WITH THE LATE SCRATCHES OF REAL QUIET -&- CIGARSHOP
    *NO WORD FROM THEIR TRAINERS WITH THE REASON*
DEFENDING CHAMPION -- PEEPTOAD, WILL HAVE 8 CHALLENGERS
TRYING TO PREVENT THE FILLY FROM A REPEAT 'LEAP' TO GLORY
           


THE CHAMP IS LOOKING A BIT LATHERED UP BUT HARD TO TELL
IF THAT'S A GOOD SIGN OF ''I'M READY TO ROCK -&- ROLL''
     OR ........ ''O NO ~ WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN''

          THE NINE ARE IN LINE & WE ARE READY TO RUN
AND AWAAAAAAAAY THEY GO IN THE 'TWIN SPIRES' STAKES...
               

           
     MEOWZA FOLKS!  ''WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!''
                 


RUFFIAN HAS TURNED HER 'INNER CHEETAH' LOOSE
RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE -- LEAVING THE REST OF THE RUNNERS
PLAYING CATCH UP HEADING INTO THE TURN
AS THE FILLY HAS TAKEN COMMAND OF A HUGE LEAD



A TRIO GIVING CHASE ABOUT 10 LENGTHS BACK ARE:
         DUSTY ~ POST TIME MIKE ~ TIGER DANCER


      ~~OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME~~


RUFFIAN HAS INCREASED HER LEAD BY A HUGE MARGIN
                   OF AT LEAST 16 LENGTHS NOW
BUT CAN THIS SUPURR-SONIC-SPEED LAST FOR THE ENTIRE RACE!

THE CLOSEST CHALLENGER IS POST TIME MIKE
BUT HE IS SO FAR BACK HE IS GONNA HAVE TO
REALLY PICK UP HIS PACE OR SPROUT WINGS
TO EVEN GET CLOSE TO THE RUNAWAY ''CHEETAH'' ON THE LEAD

IT'S ANOTHER 7 LENGTHS BACK TO:
DUSTY ~ TIGER DANCER ~ THUNDER CAT
WHO ARE AT LEAST 10 LENGTHS IN FRONT OF
     A 'TURTLE PACED TRIO OF:
BLUNNY, CATALINA AND DEFENDING CHAMP, PEEPTOAD

                     



WAY BACK IN ANOTHER TIME ZONE IS CRUZAN WHO APPEARS
TO HAVE BEEN DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING IN THE INFIELD
WHERE THERE IS A HUGE PARTY GOING ON ~ MUSIC & FRIVOLITY
     IT ALMOST LOOKS AS IF THIS COLT IS TRYING TO DANCE! 
         ~ WONDER IF HE EVER WATCHED ZENYATTA? ~
 


   THE HORSES HAVE REACHED THE TOP OF THE STRETCH


THE FIERCE FILLY IN FRONT IS SHOWING NO SIGNS OF SLOWIN DOWN
NOW AT LEAST 20 LENGTHS IN FRONT OF THE CLOSEST CHALLENGERS
      POST TIME MIKE ~ THUNDER CAT ~ BLUNNY & CATALINA
WHO ARE NOT GAINING ANY GROUND AT ALL ON RUFFIAN WHO
MUST HAVE HAD A LONG CONVERSATION WITH HER 'INNER-CHEETAH'
REMINDING HER AGAIN, WHO IS THE FASTEST LAND ANIMAL ON EARTH!

IT'S ANOTHER 15 LENGTHS BACK TO DUSTY, TIGER DANCER -&- CRUZAN

AS POOR PEEPTOAD IS STRUGGLING TO KEEP UP .... KNOWING HER
CHANCES OF A REPEAT ''LEAP'' TO GLORY IS FADING IN THE DISTANCE
            ...


      ~~AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME~~


THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET ROARING AS RUFFIAN IS NOW
JUST PUTTING ON A 1-FILLY- SHOW EXHIBITION OF POWER
TAKING FULL COMMAND OF THE RACE AS SHE HAS FROM THE GATE
      PLAYING HER OWN VERSION OF: ''CAT ME IF U CAN''
       


POST TIME MIKE ~ THUNDER CAT ~ BLUNNY + CATALINA ARE LOCKED
IN A BATTLE OF THEIR OWN FOR 2nd / SHOW & THE ''PRECIOUS''
BECAUSE THERE IS NO DOUBT IN ANYONE'S MIND, WHO WILL
            DANCE IN THE WINNER-PENTHOUSE TONIGHT!
               
         

     AS 'THE CHEETAH' ROARS PAST THE WIRE  ....   
THE PHOTO SIGN IS FLASHING FOR THE 2nd / 3rd / 4th PLACINGS
   IT IS THAT CLOSE WITH THE FOUR BEHIND THE 'RUFFZILLA'
               


AFTER RESOLVING 4 OBJECTIONS BY TRAINERS & JOCKEYS
(*NONE AGAINST THE WINNER)  THE STEWARDS NOW POST

                 
       $$--THE OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH--$$
     


1st ~ RUFFIAN ==== $54.60
YES Indeed ~ Call It Serendipity ~ A GEMINI Wins The TWIN Spires S
~CHAMPION CHEETAH~


2nd ~ POST TIME MIKE ==== $37.60
~RUNNER-UP / BRIDESMAID~
           

3rd ~ THUNDER CAT ==== $36.80
~FETCHER OF FLOWERS~


4th ~ BLUNNY ==== $35.40
*Steals The Precious -- as Rumors Fly
    That He Is Related To Gollum!     -OMG-
~RING-BEARER~
                    ... ??


        ~~ALSO RAN~~


CATALINA === $33.40

DUSTY === $18.40

TIGER DANCER === $14.40

CRUZAN === $11.20
~Was This Cruzan's Distraction??


{DC}PEEPTOAD === $8.20 & The Yo-Yo-Mama Award
  *Bouncing From The PentHouse To The CatHouse!   
.....
**A Special "Gift" from Ruff   



WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD EVENING FROM THE TWIN SPIRES
  WISHING ALL  A  SAFE, SOBER, NON TEXTING DRIVE HOME
             *NO PHONE CALL IS WORTH A LIFE*


~~Graphics By:  TIGER DANCER~~
....




                               
             

                   
  ~~~

$$$--MONEY TALKS:  A DERBY CONTEST--$$$

~~CONGRATS TO 2017's  WINNER ---> DUSTY

                       
          ===>  RULES  <=== 


* POST 3 HORSES IN THE ORDER YOU LIKE THEM
* ADD 2 ALTERNATES (## + NAME!) IN CASE OF SCRATCHES

===> MUST INCLUDE PRG ## + HORSE'S NAME <=== 

****** WITHOUT EITHER THE ENTRY WILL BE DQ ******

* THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF $$$ EACH OF YOUR HORSES WIN IS WHAT YOU GET
        * THIS INCLUDES $$$ FOR 2nd / 3rd > FOR EACH OF YOUR 3 PIX! *
                                               
*** PLAYER WITH THE HIGHEST TOTAL OF COMBINED MONEY = WINS ***
                                          :chickendance:
              ===> IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND <=== 

*** YOU MUST POST A NEW ENTRY
*** DO NOT EDIT ORIGINAL!
*** EDIT TO ORIGINAL WILL BE ==> DQ 

===> ONLY YOUR MOST RECENT POST WILL COUNT <===

*** ALL ENTRY POSTS MUST BE TIME STAMPED PRIOR TO R1 *** 

    *** IN THE EVENT OF TIE / DH ~ THO HIGHLY UNLIKELY ***
           TIE BREAKER WILL BE THE PLAYER WHOSE #1 PICK WON DERBY
                                                     
    **IF NOBODY'S #1 HORSE WON, THEN WHERE DID HE PLACE**
        ===> THE HIGHEST PLACED FINISH HORSE WINS <===

                              QUESTIONS? 
              EMAIL ME AT: ===>  [email protected]

         

YAYS -vs- NEIGHS POLL RESULTED IN AN ALMOST
        UNANIMOUS 'HELL YEH' TO RUN   

      **CONGRATS TO ---> CIGARSHOP
WHO TOOK COMMAND EARLY ON AND NEVER LOOKED BACK TO SEE
     THE 'ENERGIZER-BLUNNY' TRYING HIS BEST TO CATCH HIM 
             BUT JUST NOT ENUFF 'CHARGE' IN HIS BATTERY
                                             
                                                                     
                        VENUE CHOICE:  INDIANA GRAND
*RACES 1--8 ONLY!* PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE R9/10 IN ENTRY
                      (THAT JUST CONFUSES THE SCOREKEEPER)
                                           

  ***FEATURE EVENT: THE DERBY FEVER STAKES***
                 


    POST TIMES: 2:05 ET // 1:05 CT // 12:05 MT // 11:05 AM PT

     SCORE-KEEPER:
  SCORING FROM YE OLE CAT HOUSE WILL BE --> CATALINA
(UNLESS THOSE NASTY 'CYBERSPACE DEMONS' INTERFERE!)
                                               

RULES ARE ON THE MENU
SCROLL ON DOWN TO VIEW
BETTER TO DO IT RIGHT
THAN ERRR & SEE D.Q.
             

                                 

BELIEVE IT OR NOT
I WON THIS ONE TIME
MY LUCKY #13
WAS FIRST AT THE LINE!
               
HERE'S HOPING AGAIN
MY LUCK WILL COME THRU
BUT WHO EVER KNOWS
WHEN AN INSIGHT COMES TRUE!
                   
13 ~ 3 ~ 16
ALTERNATES => 10 // 11

                   
     
          POST BY: **TUESDAY MAY 1 @ 10 AM EDT**


      B L I N D  L U C K  ~  A DERBY CONTEST
                             
    CONGRATS TO LAST YEAR'S WINNER ==> POST TIME MIKE 
              OUT OF ALL THE ENTRIES = ONLY HE GOT IT RIGHT
     SOMETIMES 'INTUITION' TURNS TO WINNER ON THAT NIGHT!
                                             

    ******** IMPORTANT NOTES RE: ENTRIES ******** 

===> YOUR ENTRY MUST BE POSTED PRIOR TO THE DRAW! <===
                          *** TUESDAY MAY 1 @ 10 AM EDT ***
              *** YES TUESDAY! THEY CHANGED IT THIS YEAR ***
                                             

            * ANY TIME STAMP OF AN ENTRY THAT IS AFTER THAT
                    ===> IS ELIMINATED = AUTO DQ <===
                                             

                  HERE ARE THE BLIND LUCK RULES

     SOME PEOPLE MAY QUESTION ABOUT WHAT'S IN A NAME?
BUT IT SIMPLY WON'T MATTER WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING THIS GAME

         IF U LIKE THE LOTTERY = YOU WILL LOVE THIS!
                               :chickendance:

*** CHOOSE YOUR 3 FAVORITE NUMBERS 1-20  +  2 ALTS ***
                      *THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!*
                                         
*** EXAMPLE ENTRY ==> 3 - 13 - 18 ~ ALTS: 16 + 6 ***

*** IF YOUR #1 NUMBER WINS THE DERBY = SO DO YOU
                                       

*** IF YOUR #1 HORSE SCRATCHES, YOUR #2 NUMBER MOVES UP

*** IF NOBODY HAS THE WINNING NUMBER ***
      IF YOUR #2 PICK IS THE WINNER YOU WIN                                   
EXAMPLE: #5 WINS ~ NOBODY HAS IT, SOMEONE'S #2 PICK = #5

*** IN THE EVENT NOBODY'S #2 CHOICE IS THE WINNING ##
                   IT THEN GOES TO PLAYER'S #3 CHOICE
IN THE UNLIKELY CASE NONE OF THOSE NUMBERS WIN
WHOEVER HAS THEIR #1 CHOICE FINISHING CLOSEST TO WINNER = WINS

  * IN THE EVENT OF A TIE  ==> TIE BREAKER IS * 
==> THE PLAYER WHOSE #1 PICK FINISHED CLOSEST TO WINNER

            *** IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND => REMEMBER THIS ***
* ALL CHANGES MUST BE MADE IN A NEW POST! * 
          * WHICH THEN CANCELS OUT YOUR ORIGINAL ONE *

  ===> DO NOT EDIT THE ORIGINAL ENTRY! <=== 

* ANY EDITED ORIGINAL ENTRY ## WILL BE AUTO DQ FROM CONTEST!* 
     * YOU MAY EDIT ONLY TO ADD COLOR, PHOTO, GRAPHICS * 

QUESTIONS? = EMAIL RUFFIAN AT:
       [email protected]

 

                 

**Due to TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES Beyond Our Control**
        The Meow Mix Awards presentation this season
                   Has been divided into two parts
                                           

**PLEASE RE-POST YOUR REPLIES AND COMMENTS
          FROM PRIOR AWARDS POST**

*Depending upon how you have your -SETTINGS OPTIONS- on your profile
*You may be seeing Part #2 FIRST ...
*Followed by the Opening Introduction = Part #1
*IF you Have Option: Most Recent Replies FIRST

*That is exactly how I have my Settings arranged
   I prefer seeing the most recent reply at the top
Rather than have to scroll through all of the other replies I had read Previously

    If this is the case With your Setting Options ~
simply scroll down to view the INTRODUCTION P#1
   So the entire presentation makes more sense   

                 We apologize for this inconvenience
Unfortunately The technical assistance needed to fix this situation
               Has not been made available for us
                                       
  This is the first time in all the years of presenting the Awards
That this unfortunate scenario of a "Split Presentation" has occurred
                              Which has me extremely upset!
                                                   

The Meow Mix Awards is the culmination of a Year Long Record Keeping
Many Long Hours of creativity trying to Present a Unique Entertaining event
Only to see it ruined By TECHNICAL ISSUES ~  of which we have no control

     Hopefully you will still enjoy the presentation as it is

And perhaps By the time I am ready to create 2018 awards
A Technical Genius may step forward with knowledge of
*How To EXTEND the Limitation of the Number of ''Characters / Lines'' 
                           That A Thread posting can have
            *Because that is The ISSUE that has caused this problem

                        GRUMPY CAT --- OVER AND ME-OWT   

   
                                           

      ATTENTION: THIS IS *PART 2*  BUT DUE TO TECHNICAL ISSUES
               THE AWARDS PRESENTATION COULD NOT FIT INTO ONE THREAD
*IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS FIRST IT IS DUE TO YOUR SETTINGS OF 'VIEW LAST REPLY 1ST'
     **SCROLL DOWN TO THE OPENING CEREMONY OF MEOW MIX AWARDS INTRO
=========================================================


 
WE NOW MOVE ON TO OUR NEXT AWARD: RACE OF THE YEAR

MOVING LIKE A SPEEDING BULLET IS ....
USAIN BOLT aka: 'LIGHTNING BOLT'
KNOWN AS 'THE FASTEST MAN IN THE WORLD' ...
HERE TO PRESENT THE TROPHY FOR RACE OF THE YEAR''

   
''THANK YOU MR COLUMBO FOR THIS HONOR
I KNOW I RUN FAST, BUT I'M NO THOROUGHBRED!

I SEE WE HAVE 2 WORTHY RECIPIENTS FOR THIS ESTEEMED AWARD

BOTH ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING WE RARELY
ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO SEE IN RACING ....
THAT ELUSIVE SO HARD TO ACCOMPLISH  3-PEAT GLORY

AMERICAN PHAROAH WANTED TO BE HERE TO PRESENT THIS AWARD
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, HIS SCHEDULE IN THE BREEDING SHED TOOK
PRIORITY .... IT WOULD FOR ME TOO IF I WERE THAT LUCKY!

~DUSTY AND CRUZAN~ BOTH ACHIEVED THAT GLORY
AND BOTH TAKE HOME A 'RACE OF THE YEAR' AWARD!''

 


''JUST ONE MORE THING ...

WE HAVE ARRANGED A 'MATCH RACE' BETWEEN USAIN BOLT AND
LADY ELI -- INSTEAD OF A COLT -- TO MAYBE LEVEL THE FIELD A BIT
IN HIS FAVOR, THO IT'S UNLIKELY HE WILL HIT THE WIRE 1st!

     *****   *****   *****   *****   *****   *****   *****   *****


          ......
WELL FOLKS, NOW WE COME TO THE FINAL CURTAIN, THE 'BIG ONE'   
     THE ESTEEMED -- HORSE OF THE YEAR AWARD

DUE TO THIS SEASON HAVING SUCH TIGHTLY CONTESTED CONTENDERS
WE WILL BE DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
TO DETERMINE THE FINAL OUTCOME:

SIMILAR TO THE TV SERIES: 'HOT BENCH' =  WITH 3 JUDGES
WE HAVE CALLED IN OUR TOP 3 TV JUDGES TO MAKE THE FINAL CALL

PLEASE GIVE A 'NON-JUDGMENTAL' WELCOME TO:
JUDGE JUDY, JUDGE MARILYN -&- JUDGE MATHIS

THESE THREE RENOWN JUDGES WILL HAVE A VERY TUFF TIME''


A HUSH FALLS OVER THE CROWD
AS THE 3 JUDGES APPROACH THE STAGE



JUDGE JUDY IS ABOUT TO SPEAK:

''BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE WOULD LIKE TO OFFER AN ADDITIONAL
'SPECIAL SERVICE APPRECIATION AWARD' TO ~TIGER DANCER~

FOR HER EXCEPTIONAL DEDICATION... DETERMINATION
AND EXHAUSTING HOURS OF RESEARCH TO PROVIDE
OUTSTANDINGLY CLEVER -&- WITTY GRAPHICS
TO THE RACE RESULTS EVERY WEEK THAT TURNS
RACE CALLS INTO AN EXTRAORDINARY MAGICAL EVENT
       


                                     
AND NOW ON WITH THE MOMENT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR:
    THE HORSE OF THE YEAR AWARD   

THIS YEAR COULD BE SUB-TITLED: ''DOUBLE TROUBLE''
BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE COLTS FOUND THEMSELVES
DEALING WITH WEEK AFTER WEEK THE ENTIRE YEAR!

OUR DECISION DID NOT COME EASY -- AS THE 3 OF US
COULD NOT AGREE ON A FINAL SINGLE HOTY CHOICE ....
WE DID CONCUR ON OUR RUNNER-UP HONORABLE MENTION TROPHY:

THIS WILL GO TO:  ~CATALINA~
* SUPURRR SATURDAY CHAMPION
* THE CAIXA ELETRONICA TROPHY

NOW AND THEN OVER THE YEARS WE HAVE HAD 2 TROPHIES AWARDED
       2017 WILL BE IN THE RECORD BOOKS AS ONE OF THEM   

HERE ARE THE 2 'DYNAMIC-DUO-DOUBLE-TROUBLE' HOTY WINNERS

  ~~DUSTY~~
* MIDWEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION
* CRAFTY PROSPECTOR CHAMPION
* DH: FILLY OF THE YEAR
* 2nd:  B.O.T.S AWARD
* 2nd:  4-C AWARD


  ~~TIGER DANCER~~
* DISTORTED HUMOR (4th Time)
* GOLDEN GOOSE EGG
* B.O.T.S. CHAMPION
* CAPRICIOUS CALCULATING COMBO CHAMP (4-C)
* DH: FILLY OF THE YEAR
* 2nd: MIDWEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION
* 2nd: CRAFTY PROSPECTOR
* 2nd: SUPURR SATURDAY AWARD

       


PLEASE GIVE THESE 2 FIERCE FANTASTIC FILLYS THE STANDING
OVATION THEY DESERVE ~~ SHOWING UP FOR EVERY RACE
WITH EXUBERANCE, DETERMINATION, AND A WILL TO WIN!
       


                   
**AND NOW A STANDING OVATION FOR ALL OF OUR
             2017 MEOW-MIX AWARD WINNERS**


SO ANOTHER YEAR HAS SLIPPED INTO THE RECORD BOOKS
~~A YEAR OF TEARS -&- CHEERS .... SORROW -&- JOY~~

TEARS FOR OUR 2 LONG TIME COLTS
  CRIMINAL TYPE -&- JOHN HENRY 
WHO NOW RUN ACROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE

CHEERS AS WE SAW DUSTY -&- CRUZAN GAIN 3-PEAT VICTORY

SOME YEARS THE COLTS WERE UNTOUCHABLE IN ALMOST ALL AWARDS
SUCH AS:   CRIMINAL TYPE ~ REAL QUIET ~ STARK

SOME YEARS SAW A 'DOUBLE-BUBBLE' OF HOTY GLORY
CATALINA -&- CRIMINAL TYPE .... RUFFIAN -&- STARK

THIS PAST YEAR IT WAS THE FRISKY, FIERCE -&- FIERY FILLYS
  WHO BROUGHT THEIR 'A' GAME TO THE RECORD BOOKS!
            A = AMAZING ~ ASTOUNDING ~ AWESOME

BUT AS THE FINAL CURTAIN FALLS, 
ANOTHER NEW YEAR IS ON THE HORIZON
WAITING TO FILL THE RECORD BOOKS WITH
NEW EXCITING MOMENTS TO REMEMBER AND CHERISH

THE MEOW MIX STAFF WISH TO THANK ALL WHO MAKE OUR FORUM
EASILY THE MOST BODACIOUS ~ FUN FILLED BEST ONE OF ALL 

TELL ALL YOUR HORSE LOVING FRIENDS ABOUT US AND PERHAPS
THIS NEW YEAR MAY SEE SOME NEW FACES IN THE STARTING GATE!

HAPPY 'MEW' YEAR -&- MAY ALL YOUR WHISKERS BE FROST-FREE!
                   
     


        **HAS ANYONE SEEN TIGER DANCER?? 
UHHHH, IT SEEMS BOBBY FLAY TOOK A LIKING TO HER
AND DECIDED TO MAKE HER A VERY FANCY DINNER
     


    ~~Graphics By:  TIGER DANCER~~



 

                                       

CIGARSHOP CHIRPS:
''...Major kudos to Rufffffff on putting in countless hours preparing these awards
                                    and our bi weekly contests...''

                                                 
IT IS WAY BEYOND ''COUNTLESS HOURS''  ==> ENDLESS DAYS IS MORE THE NORM

BUT I LOVE DOING IT BECAUSE THIS FORUM FEELS MORE LIKE 'FAMILY' TO ME ~
GENUINE CARING AND CONCERN FOR EACH OTHER ~ FUN ~ DISTORTED HUMOR!
        IN MY OPINION:  TRULY THE MOST UNIQUE & FUN-FILLED FORUM OF ALL! 
                                                     

              FEEDBACK OF APPRECIATION IS LIKE FOOD FOR THE SOUL
SO CATNIP LACED HUGS TO SIR CIGARSHOP FOR HIS THOUGHTFUL COMMENTS!   

''JUST ONE MORE THING ...

WE HAVE ARRANGED A 'MATCH RACE' BETWEEN USAIN BOLT AND
LADY ELI -- INSTEAD OF A COLT -- TO MAYBE LEVEL THE FIELD A BIT
IN HIS FAVOR, THO IT'S UNLIKELY HE WILL HIT THE WIRE 1st!

WELL FOLKS, NOW WE COME TO THE FINAL CURTAIN, THE 'BIG ONE'   
     THE ESTEEMED -- HORSE OF THE YEAR AWARD

DUE TO THIS SEASON HAVING SUCH TIGHTLY CONTESTED CONTENDERS
WE WILL BE DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
TO DETERMINE THE FINAL OUTCOME:

SIMILAR TO THE TV SERIES: 'HOT BENCH' =  WITH 3 JUDGES
WE HAVE CALLED IN OUR TOP 3 TV JUDGES TO MAKE THE FINAL CALL

PLEASE GIVE A 'NON-JUDGMENTAL' WELCOME TO:
JUDGE JUDY, JUDGE MARILYN -&- JUDGE MATHIS

THESE THREE RENOWN JUDGES WILL HAVE A VERY TUFF TIME''


A HUSH FALLS OVER THE CROWD
AS THE 3 JUDGES APPROACH THE STAGE



JUDGE JUDY IS ABOUT TO SPEAK:

''BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE WOULD LIKE TO OFFER AN ADDITIONAL
'SPECIAL SERVICE APPRECIATION AWARD' TO ~TIGER DANCER~

FOR HER EXCEPTIONAL DEDICATION... DETERMINATION
AND EXHAUSTING HOURS OF RESEARCH TO PROVIDE
OUTSTANDINGLY CLEVER -&- WITTY GRAPHICS
TO THE RACE RESULTS EVERY WEEK THAT TURNS
RACE CALLS INTO AN EXTRAORDINARY MAGICAL EVENT
       


                                     
AND NOW ON WITH THE MOMENT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR:
    THE HORSE OF THE YEAR AWARD   

THIS YEAR COULD BE SUB-TITLED: ''DOUBLE TROUBLE''
BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE COLTS FOUND THEMSELVES
DEALING WITH WEEK AFTER WEEK THE ENTIRE YEAR!

OUR DECISION DID NOT COME EASY -- AS THE 3 OF US
COULD NOT AGREE ON A FINAL SINGLE HOTY CHOICE ....
WE DID CONCUR ON OUR RUNNER-UP HONORABLE MENTION TROPHY:

THIS WILL GO TO:  ~CATALINA~
* SUPURRR SATURDAY CHAMPION
* THE CAIXA ELETRONICA TROPHY

NOW AND THEN OVER THE YEARS WE HAVE HAD 2 TROPHIES AWARDED
       2017 WILL BE IN THE RECORD BOOKS AS ONE OF THEM   

HERE ARE THE 2 'DYNAMIC-DUO-DOUBLE-TROUBLE' HOTY WINNERS

  ~~DUSTY~~
* MIDWEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION
* CRAFTY PROSPECTOR CHAMPION
* DH: FILLY OF THE YEAR
* 2nd:  B.O.T.S AWARD
* 2nd:  4-C AWARD


  ~~TIGER DANCER~~
* DISTORTED HUMOR (4th Time)
* GOLDEN GOOSE EGG
* B.O.T.S. CHAMPION
* CAPRICIOUS CALCULATING COMBO CHAMP (4-C)
* DH: FILLY OF THE YEAR
* 2nd: MIDWEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION
* 2nd: CRAFTY PROSPECTOR
* 2nd: SUPURR SATURDAY AWARD

       


PLEASE GIVE THESE 2 FIERCE FANTASTIC FILLYS THE STANDING
OVATION THEY DESERVE ~~ SHOWING UP FOR EVERY RACE
WITH EXUBERANCE, DETERMINATION, AND A WILL TO WIN!
       


                   
**AND NOW A STANDING OVATION FOR ALL OF OUR
             2017 MEOW-MIX AWARD WINNERS**


SO ANOTHER YEAR HAS SLIPPED INTO THE RECORD BOOKS
~~A YEAR OF TEARS -&- CHEERS .... SORROW -&- JOY~~

TEARS FOR OUR 2 LONG TIME COLTS
  CRIMINAL TYPE -&- JOHN HENRY 
WHO NOW RUN ACROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE

CHEERS AS WE SAW DUSTY -&- CRUZAN GAIN 3-PEAT VICTORY

SOME YEARS THE COLTS WERE UNTOUCHABLE IN ALMOST ALL AWARDS
SUCH AS:   CRIMINAL TYPE ~ REAL QUIET ~ STARK

SOME YEARS SAW A 'DOUBLE-BUBBLE' OF HOTY GLORY
CATALINA -&- CRIMINAL TYPE .... RUFFIAN -&- STARK

THIS PAST YEAR IT WAS THE FRISKY, FIERCE -&- FIERY FILLYS
  WHO BROUGHT THEIR 'A' GAME TO THE RECORD BOOKS!
            A = AMAZING ~ ASTOUNDING ~ AWESOME

BUT AS THE FINAL CURTAIN FALLS, 
ANOTHER NEW YEAR IS ON THE HORIZON
WAITING TO FILL THE RECORD BOOKS WITH
NEW EXCITING MOMENTS TO REMEMBER AND CHERISH

THE MEOW MIX STAFF WISH TO THANK ALL WHO MAKE OUR FORUM
EASILY THE MOST BODACIOUS ~ FUN FILLED BEST ONE OF ALL 

TELL ALL YOUR HORSE LOVING FRIENDS ABOUT US AND PERHAPS
THIS NEW YEAR MAY SEE SOME NEW FACES IN THE STARTING GATE!

HAPPY 'MEW' YEAR -&- MAY ALL YOUR WHISKERS BE FROST-FREE!
                   
     


        **HAS ANYONE SEEN TIGER DANCER?? 
UHHHH, IT SEEMS BOBBY FLAY TOOK A LIKING TO HER
AND DECIDED TO MAKE HER A VERY FANCY DINNER
     


    ~~Graphics By:  TIGER DANCER~~



 

   


          GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO
THE 2017 MEOW-MIX AWARDS CAT-STRAVAGANZA
HONORING THE BEST OF THE BEST IN 20 CATEGORIES COMING TO
YOU FROM THE RED ROCKS AMPHITHEATER IN COLORFUL COLORADO
WHERE THE 'PRESENTERS THEME' THIS YEAR WILL BE: *TV MEMORIES*

 
                     


PLEASE WELCOME OUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES....
      ~~ LIEUTENANT COLUMBO ~~
WHOSE WELL KNOWN CATCH PHRASE OF -- ''O, JUST ONE MORE THING'' ~
WILL SURELY RESONATE THROUGHOUT THE EVENING!

''THANK YOU, AND JUST TO BE CONSIDERATE OF EVERYONE,
I HAVE EXTINGUISHED MY CIGAR FOR THIS EVENING,
BUT OUT OF FORCE OF HABIT OVER WAY TOO MANY YEARS....
            I SHALL STILL BE HOLDING IT!"

 

     ~~AND NOW .... ON WITH THE SHOW~~


PLEASE TURN YOUR ATTENTION TO THE HOT PINK CARPET
WHERE WE NOW WELCOME THE SHINING STARS OF 2017



LEADING THEM OUT ~ OUR CO-REIGNING HORSES OF THE YEAR:
                  *** STARK  -&-  RUFFIAN ***

STARK ~
2016:  SS CHAMP ~ CAIXA ELETRONICA ~ RISEN STAR ~
2 FROSTED WHISKERS ~ DISTORTED HUMOR ~ CRAFTY PROSPECTOR ~
            COLT OF THE YEAR ~ RACE OF THE YEAR
     
RUFFIAN ~
2016: MM CHAMP ~ BOTS CHAMP ~ FILLY OF THE YEAR
RUNNER UP: CAIXA ELETRONICA + CRAFTY PROSPECTOR + BRIDESMAID

REAL QUIET ~
2015 - HOTY

CATALINA ~
2016 BRIDESMAID, 2015 SS CHAMP ~ 2014 CO-HOTY
  RECORD HOLDER: CAIXA ELETRONICA $293.00

DUSTY ~
2016 SS RUNNER-UP ~ #3 CRAFTY PROSPECTOR ~ FROSTED WHISKER ~
   2010 - HOTY

TIGER DANCER ~
2016 DISTORTED HUMOR x 4 ~ CAT HOUSE KEY ~ 2nd MM ~

CIGARSHOP ~
LOST IN THE FOG WINNER ~ FROSTED WHISKER ~

POST TIME MIKE ~
2015 CAIXA ELETRONICA ~ FROSTED WHISKER ~

BLUNNY ~
2016 ''THE PRECIOUS'' -(Repeat Winner) ~ 2015 RISEN STAR ~
AWESOME AGAIN AWARD ~ RUNNER-UP BRIDESMAID 2016

PEEPTOAD

RAVEN

THUNDER CAT

CRUZAN

OAKLAWN CAPPER --(Retired To Breeding Shed)

EL PRADO --(R & R ~ May Return To The Track)

CRIMINAL TYPE -&- JOHN HENRY
BOTH RAN -&- WON A FEW RACES BEFORE DEPARTING THIS REALM


             
''BEFORE WE BEGIN WITH THE AWARDS WE HAVE A SPECIAL EVENT

    WE HAVE 2 FORMER CHAMPIONS, WHO LEFT US LAST YEAR
CROSSING THE RAINBOW BRIDGE TO GREENER PASTURES BEYOND

   


THEY NOW WILL BE INDUCTED INTO --> *THE MEOW-MIX HALL OF FAME*
               
                         


TO PRESENT THIS HONOR, PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO
         DR WHO AND HIS FAITHFUL COMPANION ---> K-9''
    
                                         
''THANK YOU, INSPECTOR ....

AS YOU KNOW, I TRAVEL THRU TIME -&- SPACE ...
I WANTED YOU ALL TO FEEL JOY ~ NOT SORROW,
AS I HAVE SEEN OUR TWO DEPARTED COLTS RUNNING
THRU THE MEADOWS IN ANOTHER TIME ZONE DIMENSION

*CRIMINAL TYPE* ~HORSE OF THE YEAR -&- KEY HOLDER OF DOGHOUSE~
ALWAYS READY TO OFFER HIS OWN VERSION OF DISTORTED HUMOR
           


*JOHN HENRY* ~MULTIPLE AWARD WINNER -&- A TRUE GENTLEMAN
RESPECTFUL OF ALL, WIN OR LOSE ~ ALWAYS A KIND WORD
             

THEY BOTH ARE GREATLY MISSED ~ LEAVING US WAY TOO SOON!''
*************************************


                   
"TO PRESENT OUR FIRST AWARD OF THE EVENING, DISTORTED HUMOR
   PLEASE WELCOME ~SHELDON COOPER~ FROM THE BIG-BANG-THEORY
      WHERE HIS BRAND OF 'HUMOR' IS BEYOND JUST DISTORTED!"




''THANK YOU KIND SIR ... 
DISTORTED HUMOR IS AN AMBIGUOUS TERM THAT IS IN THE MIND
OF THE BEHOLDER ~ SOME HUMANS FIND THE SILLIEST THINGS
TO BE WORTHY OF LAUGHTER ~ BUT, TO EACH THEIR OWN, EH!

THIS YEAR, ONCE AGAIN FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME:
~TIGER DANCER~ IS GUILTY OF DISTORTED HUMOR -&- TWISTED WIT
WE HAVE LOST TRACK OF HOW MANY TIMES SHE WINS THIS
BUT ----> EASILY DESERVED!
       


HONORABLE MENTIONS TO:
~RUFFIAN~ ---> WHO, WEEK AFTER WEEK,
OFFERS HER OWN 'BRAND' OF DISTORTED HUMOR IN HER RACE CALLS
             


ALSO A SHOUT OUT TO  ~SIR ''STARK THE SHARK''~
WHO OFFERED SOME VERY AMUSING -&- ENTERTAINING COMMENTARIES
HE HAS BEEN M.I.A FOR SOME TIME, MUCH TO THE DISAPPOINTMENT
OF HIS MANY FANS WHO HAVE HIGH HOPES TO SEE HIS RETURN! ''
             
 


"THANK YOU, SHELDON

OUR NEXT AWARD IS CALLED: ''LOST IN THE FOG''
IT USUALLY GOES TO THE LOWEST $$ WINNING RACE
SOME TIMES IT GOES TO A HORSE WHO ARRIVES AT THE WRONG TRACK!
                                         

TO PRESENT THIS TROPHY, PLEASE WELCOME ~MR SHERLOCK HOLMES~
WHO HAS NO PROBLEM AT ALL FINDING WHAT IS 'LOST' IN THE FOG''
                             

''THANK YOU, INSPECTOR ...
I DID NOT HAVE TO LOOK VERY FAR TO DISCOVER THE RECIPIENT
OF THIS YEAR'S 'LOST IN THE FOG'  TROPHY ....
IT WAS REALLY RATHER VERY ELEMENTARY

THIS YEAR'S RECIPIENT OF THE LOST IN THE FOG AWARD IS....
~STARK-THE-SHARK~ WHO MANAGED TO WIN A RACE WITH $37.60
WHICH MAY BE AN ALL TIME 'LOW' IN THE HISTORY OF THE AWARD!



HONORABLE MENTION TO ~REAL QUIET~ WHO WOUND UP AT
THE WRONG TRACK IN WHICH HE WAS ENTERED TO RUN!''
  ... WHICH WAY DID I GO?? 



''OUR NEXT AWARD IS:  ''THE PRECIOUS''
THE GOLDEN RING IS THE 'REWARD' FOR FINISHING 4th
MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE, PER THE 'ORDER' OF:
BRIDE, BRIDESMAID, FLOWER-BEARER AND RING-BEARER
       aka = THE 1 RING TO RULE THEM ALL!

COMING ALL THE WAY FROM THE SHIRE,
UNDER THE CLOAK OF DARKNESS IS ~GOLLUM~
WHO ACCORDING TO GANDALF THE GRAY,
SUDDENLY HAD A 'CHANGE OF HEART' ABOUT 'HIS PRECIOUS'

IT IS RUMORED THAT SINCE THIS IS THE 3rd YEAR FOR THIS WINNER,
GOLLUM HAD A ROUND OF REMORSE, A BREAK FROM POSSESSIVENESS
AND DECIDED TO DO A 180 TURNABOUT TO PRESENT THIS AWARD!

.......

MAY WE PLEASE DIM THE LIGHTS -&- REFRAIN FROM APPLAUSE OR
NOISE OF ANY KIND,  SO WE DO NOT FRIGHTEN GOLLUM AS HE MAKES
HIS WAY SLOWLY TO THE STAGE ... HE IS NOT ACCUSTOMED TO THIS
TYPE OF ATMOSPHERE OR HUMANS IN SUCH GREAT NUMBERS''

A HUSH FALLS OVER THE CROWD ... HEADS TURN TOWARDS THE AISLE
WHERE GOLLUM VERY CAUTIOUSLY IS CREEPING TOWARDS THE STAGE....
      

''MY PRECIOUS ~ MY PRECIOUS ~ I MUST HAVE MY PRECIOUS
OH MY ~ I'VE HAD A SUDDEN RELAPSE ... FORGIVE THIS PITIFUL ONE
                       

TOO MANY YEARS OF SELFISH POSSESSIVENESS
ARE HARD TO OVERCOME -- BUT SINCE I MADE A VOW TO GANDALF,
I MUST FULFILL MY PROMISE AND PRESENT 'MY PRECIOUS'
TO ONE WHO,  FOR THE 3rd YEAR IN A ROW
HAS BEEN DEEMED WORTHY ENOUGH TO HAVE IT!

AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE GUESSED: 
~BLUNNY 'THE ENERGIZER BUNNY'~
WHO MAY NOT HAVE FINISHED 1st MORE THAN OTHERS....
BUT HAS AN UNCANNY KNACK OF STEALING THE PRECIOUS --> 18 TIMES!!
~~~~~


HONORABLE MENTION: ~CIGARSHOP~ WITH 13...''

SLOWLY THE LIGHTS ARE BEING BRIGHTENED SO AS TO NOT
FRIGHTEN GOLLUM LEAVING THE STAGE ... APPEARING VERY
DEPRESSED AT HAVING HIS HANDS ON 'THE PRECIOUS' ...
      ONLY TO GIVE IT AWAY TO ANOTHER! 



''AS WE ALL KNOW FROM PAST EXPERIENCE
BLUNNY WILL HAVE TO BE VERY DILIGENT WITH WHEREVER HE
PLACES 'THE PRECIOUS' ... BECAUSE IN SPITE OF HIS GOOD INTENTIONS
     WE KNOW HOW GOLLUM IS ABOUT THAT GOLDEN RING!''


WE NOW COME TO THE NEXT AWARD THAT SOME CONSIDER TO BE
'A DUBIOUS HONOR'  AS IN ORDER TO WIN IT, 
ONE MUST FINISH LAST MORE THAN ANY OTHER!

THE FILLYS LAND IN THE CAT HOUSE ~ THE COLTS TO THE DOG HOUSE

TO PRESENT THE CAT HOUSE KEY AWARD
PLEASE WELCOME  ~SPEEDY-GONZALEZ~
YES FOLKS, IT IS A MOUSE IN THE CAT HOUSE BUT AS WE KNOW
HE IS FASTER THAN MOST OF THOSE LAZY PUSSYCATS JUST NAPPING''

''SI SI SENOR COLUMBO ... I AM VERRRRY VERRRRY FAST
THEY DON'T CALL ME 'SPEEDY' CAUSE I'M SLOW!
               


HONORABLE MENTION GOES TO ~TIGER DANCER~ WITH 21 KEYS

BUT THE SUPURRR FAST CHEETAH ~RUFFIAN~ TOOK THE MASTER KEY
WITH ---> 23 TENACIOUS TRIPS TO THE COLOSSAL CAT HOUSE!



UH OH .... HERE SHE COMES AT LIGHTNING SPEED
  SO THIS MIGHTY MOUSE IS OUTTA HERE! 
        AYE CARUMBA! EEEEEEEEEEEK!
     



         
''AS THE SPEEDY GONZALEZ DASHES OFF TO SAFETY....
WE NOW TURN OUR ATTENTION TO THE NEXT AWARD

PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME WITH A WONDROUS 'WOOF'
TO A CHARISMATIC CANINE....  ~SCOOBY DOO~''

                           
''WOOF  WOOF  WOOF! THANKS FOR NO FIRE IN THAT CIGAR, SIR
  OR YOU MIGHT BE HEARING: COUGH COUGH NOT WOOF-WOOF!

EQUALLY QUESTIONABLE LIKE THE 'CAT HOUSE'
WONDERING --- 'IS IT AN 'HONOR' OR...?'
THE 'DOG HOUSE' IS REALLY NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS!

IT IS OUTFITTED WITH ALL THE 'CREATURE COMFORTS' THAT
ANY COLT WOULD ENJOY ---> BEER, BOOZE -& -BABES!

THIS YEAR THE FILLY'S CAT HOUSE ENTERTAINED WAY MORE
OCCUPANTS THAN THE DOG HOUSE  (*23 CAT HOUSE -vs- 6 DOG HOUSE)
WONDER WHY THAT IS?   

WITHOUT CRIMINAL TYPE IN THE GATE THIS YEAR....
IT LEFT THE DOG HOUSE DOOR WIDE OPEN FOR ALL!

TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT IS  ~CIGARSHOP~ WITH 6 KEYS
WHO TAKES HOME THIS AWARD AND A CASE OF SCOOBY SNACKS''



RUNNER UP: ~POST-TIME-MIKE~ WITH 5 KEYS

THERE THEY GO ~ HOOF -&- PAW TROTTING UP THE AISLE
... AND I AM OFF TO GO DIG UP A BONE!''



''AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ...

THE 'GOLDEN GOOSE EGG' AWARD IS FOR RUNNING A RACE
AND RETURNING TO THE BARN WITH ZERO $$$
       NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS THO!   
               


HERE TO PRESENT THE GOLDEN GOOSE EGG AWARD:
PLEASE WELCOME SUPER IRON CHEF  ~BOBBY FLAY~
WHO HAS PROMISED TO NOT TURN THE GOLDEN GOOSE EGG
          INTO A FANCY EXPENSIVE OMELETTE! ''
                   

     ''THANK YOU, INSPECTOR, AND YES I DID PROMISE THAT
THO, IT MAY BE DIFFICULT TO COMPLY ... I AM A MAN OF HONOR!

THIS YEAR 3 BANKRUPT FILLYS FEATHERED THEIR NESTS
WITH 1 GOLDEN GOOSE EGG:   ~CATALINA~
WITH 2 GOLDEN GOOSE EGGS: ~RUFFIAN~

BUT WITH 3 GLORIOUS GOLDEN GOOSE EGGS: ~TIGER DANCER~''
             


"THANK YOU, BOBBY ....


NOT BEING ABLE TO USE THE GOLDEN GOOSE EGG IN AN OMELETTE ...
BOBBY FLAY HAS OFFERED TO SUPPLY VERY ELABORATE FEATHERS
        FOR TIGER DANCER'S FANCY NEST!
....



HERE TO PRESENT OUR NEXT AWARD: 'BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR'
WHICH AS IT SUGGESTS, FINISHING AS RUNNER-UP THE MOST TIMES

PLEASE GIVE A ROUSING ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO THE ONE + ONLY
~RUPAUL~ WHO SURELY KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT FANCY DRESSES!"

''O THANK YOU LUSCIOUS LIEUTENANT AND GRACIOUS GREETINGS Y'ALL!
                   

BEING A RUNNER UP SO OFTEN CAN DO WONDERS TO AFFECT
  ONE'S 'EGO' AND SELF ESTEEM .... WONDERING WHY
     IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO HIT THE WIRE FIRST?

YET, TO HELP EASE THAT ANGST, IS THE FACT
THAT IN ALL THOSE RACES RUNNING 2nd~
CONSIDER HOW MANY WERE RUNNING
      BEHIND 2nd AT THE WIRE!

AND SPEAKING OF BEING A 'RUNNER-UP'
TAKING 2nd PLACE FOR BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR: ~RUFFIAN~ (11 GOWNS)

BUT THE RUNAWAY WINNER -- WITH 22 BRIDESMAID GOWNS: ~BLUNNY~
NOW THAT IS GONNA REQUIRE A LARGER CLOSET FOR SURE!"




''THANK YOU, RUPAUL FOR THAT DELIGHTFUL PRESENTATION
               
               ... OH YEH, JUST ONE MORE THING ...
RUPAUL HAS OFFERED TO CONSULT WITH BLUNNY ON IDEAS
      FOR A NEW ELABORATE GLORIOUS GOWN CLOSET!   
                 



OUR NEXT AWARD SHOULD BE 'SUB-TITLED' -- 'FRUSTRATION FIASCO'
BECAUSE IT IS GIVEN TO ALL WHO RUN FOR THE ELUSIVE 3-PEAT
                BUT FAIL TO GAIN THE GLORY
         
HERE TO PRESENT THE 'FROSTED WHISKER' TROPHY IS:
~TONY THE TIGER~ ALONG WITH A BOX OF HIS FAMOUS FROSTED FLAKES!

{WE CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF HE 'MISUNDERSTOOD' THE TERM   
FROSTED WHISKER BEING RELATED TO FROSTED FLAKES?}'' 

     
''MEOW MEOW MEOW SIR COLUMBO
I BROUGHT MY FROSTED FLAKES TO SWEETEN THE SORROW OF
THE 'ALMOST-DID-IT' FEELING OF 'NO-3-PEAT-FOR-ME'  DOWNER!

WE HAD 5 WHO WERE DISAPPOINTED ONCE:
RUFFIAN ~ CIGARSHOP ~ REAL QUIET ~ CATALINA ~ THUNDER CAT

BUT EVEN GETTING THE 1st TWO LEGS OF THE 3-PEAT, IS STILL
A GRRRR--RR--REAT ACCOMPLISHMENT TO BE PROUD OF DOING!

THIS YEAR'S FROSTED WHISKER TROPHY GOES TO ~BLUNNY~
    WITH HAVING TRIED TWICE .... YET FAILED ---> TWICE!!
               
~A NICE TROPHY TO DISPLAY -AND-
   YOU CAN DRINK YOUR SORROWS AWAY~

ONCE IS TUFF ENUFF.... BUT TWICE??
NEED A BIG HEAD OF LUSCIOUS LETTUCE
FOR THIS COLT AND ... I ALSO BROUGHT
A CASE OF FROSTED FLAKES JUST FOR HIM!"


''THANK YOU, TONY ...
FOR YOUR THOUGHTFULNESS -&- GENEROSITY!


WE NOW MOVE ON TO THE MORE IMPRESSIVE
AND DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE AWARDS
ALL OF WHICH HAVE RESULTED IN MANY EXTREMELY
CLOSE CONTESTS INCLUDING DEAD HEATS!

THIS YEAR MORE THAN ANY OTHER SEEMED TO BE MORE
CLOSELY CONTESTED THAN IN RECENT MEMORY

OUR NEXT AWARD TURNS FROM DISAPPOINTMENT TO GLEE!

BUT 1st .....
A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR THE DEARLY DEPARTED: CAIXA ELETRONICA
WHO SUFFERED A FATAL INJURY WHILE IN TRAINING ON THE TRACK
  THIS AWARD CELEBRATES HIS AWESOME ACCOMPLISHMENTS



THIS AWARD IS GIVEN IN HONOR OF THE MOST MONEY EARNED IN A DAY

PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME TO MR BOB BARKER
    FROM THE 'PRICE IS RIGHT' GAME SHOW''

     
''THANK YOU, INSPECTOR ~
THE RUNNER UP FOR THIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD: ~RUFFIAN~ --->{$163}

THE GRAND WINNER WITH $225 FOR ONE DAY'S EFFORT:
~CATALINA~ .... COME ON DOWN!!
THIS FINE FILLY SURE HAD THE 'RIGHT PRICE' THIS YEAR!"
                 



     ''OUR NEXT AWARD IS: B.O.T.S = BATTLE OF THE SEXES
                                FILLYS  -VS-  COLTS
 


HERE TO PRESENT THIS AWARD .... PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME
TO  ~ARCHIE -&- EDITH BUNKER~  WHO SURELY HAVE HAD
       THEIR SHARE OF ''FILLY - COLT BATTLES!''

               
''YOOO-HOOOO,  MR. POLICEMAN DETECTIVE SIR!
.... COME ON EDITH, YOUR HOLDIN UP DA SHOW!

  WE WAS GONNA BRING THE 'MEATHEAD' ALONG
               BUT HE AIN'T INTO IT
     

SO NOW WE HAVE AN AWARD THAT DECIDES GENDER SUPERIORITY?
WELL, BACK IN MY DAY --  WE ALL KNEW THAT MEN WERE BETTER
BUT THEN,  THAT AIN'T HORSES     ....... STIFLE YOURSELF, EDITH! 


THE RUNNER-UP -- WITH 3 WINS IS ---> ~BLUNNY~

NOW I SEE IN THIS HERE ENVELOPE
THAT THIS YEAR WE HAVE A TIE FOR THE BOTS TROPHY
BETWEEN 2 FILLYS: ~TIGER DANCER -&- DUSTY~

THEY BOTH WON THE DAY ---> 5 TIMES
SO THEY EACH WILL GET A TROPHY OF THEIR OWN
TO BRAG ABOUT BEING 'SUPERIOR' TO THE COLTS
    SOMETHING THEY JUST LOVE DOING!
 


     COME ON, EDITH --- WE'RE OUTTA HERE NOW,
MY BEER IS GETTIN WARM AND MY DINNER'S GETTIN COLD"
       



         
'' WELL THAT SURE SHOOK UP OUR MEMORIES!
SHOWS YA HOW THINGS -&- ATTITUDES CHANGE OVER TIME


BEFORE WE PROCEED ... NOW IS A GOOD TIME FOR
     ~~A BRIEF INTERMISSION~~
GIVING EVERYONE A CHANCE TO STRETCH LEGS AND
PARTAKE IN SOME FINE FOOD -&- LIQUID REFRESHMENTS
       FEATURING THE MEOW-MIX BUFFET 

 
                             



~~WE ARE BACK NOW .... SO ON WITH THE SHOW~~
                       




OUR NEXT BIG AWARD IS: SUPURRR SATURDAY CHAMPION
DIRECT FROM SNL, PLEASE WELCOME DAN AKROYD -&- STEVE MARTIN''



''WE MAY BE 2 WILD AND CRAZY GUYS,
BUT WE DON'T MESS WITH THE FUZZ!
  THAT 'FUNNY SMOKE' U SMELL
IS JUST "FLAVORED CIGARETTES!" 



THE RUNNER-UP FOR THIS AWARD IS ANOTHER TIE:
~TIGER DANCER -&- REAL QUIET~ -- EACH WITH 6 VICTORY GALLOPS

BUT THE ONE TAKING HOME THE TROPHY
   WITH 7 WINS: ~CATALINA~''
   



''... OH GUYS ... JUST ONE MORE THING
WE'LL BE CHECKING OUT THOSE 'FLAVORED CIGARETTES'
IN YOUR ROOMS .....  NOT THAT WE DON'T BELIEVE YA!


NOW ON TO OUR NEXT AWARD --> MIDWEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION

PLEASE HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE FOR NOW SO WE DON'T DISTRACT
        OUR NEXT PRESENTER =  CALEB "THE HUMP-DAY" CAMEL

.... THAT'LL BE A TUFF ACT TO FOLLOW FOR SURE!''
           

''UH-OH ~ GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS! COME ON - GUESS ....
YEH YEH YEH --- THAT'S RIGHT! HUUUUMP DAY!

NOW THAT I'VE OPENED THE ENVELOPE -- I SEE WE DO INDEED
               HAVE 2 HUMPS --- AS IN = ANOTHER 'TIE'

*NEVER DID LIKE THE TERM "DEAD-HEAT" CUZ IF YOU EVER
WALKED FOR MILES IN THE BURNING DESERT -- LIKE I HAVE
THAT TERM TAKES ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT MEANING
      AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY EITHER!
     


RUNNER-UP IS:  ~BLUNNY~  WITH 5 WINS

AND ONCE AGAIN THE DYNAMIC DUO OF ~TIGER DANCER -&- DUSTY~
TAKE HOME DOUBLE TROPHIES -- HAVING WON THE MM DAYS 8 TIMES EACH
            


AND NOW, I'M OFF TO GO CHECK MY INSURANCE
TO BE SURE THEY DON'T CHARGE EXTRA FOR 2 HUMPS!
...HEY, WHERE DID YOSEMITE SAM COME FROM




...''BYE CALEB ~ O YEH ....
WHEN U GET COFFEE, DO THEY EVER ASK U: '1 HUMP OR 2'
JUST COULDN'T RESIST ... EVEN MRS COLUMBO QUESTIONS MY HUMOR

AS WE WAIT FOR THE CLEAN UP CREW   
TO CLEAR THE STAGE OF CALEB'S  ''CAMELNESS''


WE NOW WELCOME ~MR PAT SAJAC~ OF THE WHEEL-OF-FORTUNE SHOW
TO PRESENT OUR NEXT AWARD: ~CRAFTY PROSPECTOR~
THIS TROPHY REPRESENTS THE MOST MONEY EARNED ALL YEAR''

''THANK YOU, INSPECTOR
UNLIKE THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE,  NO SPINNING IS NECESSARY TO
DETERMINE THE RESULTS WHICH ARE CALCULATED BY A SPECIALLY
ASSIGNED FIRM WHO KEEP THE WEEKLY TALLYS

I SEE THAT THE RESULTS ARE VERY CLOSE ....
   AGAIN WITH THE SAME 2 FILLYS

IN 3rd PLACE IS: ~CATALINA~ = $1074.60

RUNNER UP: ~TIGER DANCER~  = $1209.00
THE GRAND WINNER: ~DUSTY~ = $1280.90

......   


  'BYE NOW, PAT ....
                          BE SURE NOT TO SPIN YOUR WHEELS TOO MUCH!


NOW ONTO A SPECIAL NEW AWARD THIS YEAR
IT IS CALLED: THE ''4-C AWARD''
THE CAPRICIOUS--CALCULATING--COMBO--CHAMPION!

IT IS DETERMINED BY THE COLLECTIVE TOTAL NUMBER OF WINS
IN  BOTH SS AND MM RACE DAYS

HERE TO PRESENT THIS NEW AWARD ...
A VERY CAPRICIOUS -- CALCULATING DUO
WHO GO WHERE NO MAN -- OR HORSE -- HAS GONE BEFORE
PLEASE GIVE A STAR-STUDDED WELCOME TO
~CAPTAIN KIRK -&- MR SPOCK~ FROM THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE''
   


''THANK YOU, FOR THE WARM WELCOME
WE HAVE TRAVELLED FAR TO BE HERE FOR THIS AUSPICIOUS EVENT
AND WE FEEL HONORED TO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO PRESENT
THIS NEW AWARD FOR THE FIRST TIME

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE FEELING OF DISCOVERING A NEW STAR
AND AS THIS AWARD SUGGESTS ~
IT TAKES A STAR TO WIN MORE THAN ANY OTHER FOR THE YEAR!

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE:
IN 3rd PLACE:
~BLUNNY~ =====> 4 SS + 6 MM = 10
~CATALINA~ ====> 7 SS + 3 MM = 10

IN 2nd PLACE:
~DUSTY~ ======> 5 SS + 8 MM = 13

BUT THE CAPRICIOUS--CALCULATING--COMBO--CHAMPION IS:
~TIGER DANCER~ =====> 6 SS + 8 MM = 14

                   



   
AS WE BID FAREWELL TO KIRK -&- SPOCK
WE NOW TURN OUR ATTENTION TO
ANOTHER 'STAR' ---> THE 'RISEN STAR' AWARD

PLEASE WELCOME SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT RISING STARS
~SIMON COWELL~ OF AMERICAN IDOL -&- X FACTOR FAME''

''THANK U LIEUTENANT 

THIS AWARD IS BASED UPON VARIOUS CRITERIA:
SOME YEARS IT GOES TO A GREATLY IMPROVING COLT OR FILLY
SOME YEARS FOR A MAIDEN TURNED CHAMPION IN A HEARTBEAT!

THIS YEAR OUR 2  'RISEN STARS'  CAME TO OUR TRACK AS MAIDENS

ONE DID WHAT ONLY DUSTY HAD MANAGED TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR
     THE VERY ELUSIVE 3-PEAT!

AND YET THIS COLT DID EXACTLY THAT!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ~CRUZAN~ WHO WENT 'CRUISIN' RIGHT
INTO THE RECORD BOOKS!   YOU ARE INDEED A RISEN STAR!''

OUR OTHER SHINING 'RISEN STAR' TROPHY GOES TO THE
FIERCE FILLY  ~THUNDER CAT~  WHOSE CREDITS INCLUDE:
5 SS WINS ~ 5 MM WINS ~ 1 BOTS WIN ~ 7 BRIDESMAID + 6 PRECIOUS

    

WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING THESE 2 STARS SHINE
EVEN MORE BRIGHTLY THIS COMING NEW SEASON''


                   
''OUR NEXT AWARD IS THE 'AWESOME AGAIN' TROPHY
TO PRESENT THIS TROPHY, PLEASE GIVE A WARM WELCOME
TO SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN 'AWESOME AGAIN + AGAIN + AGAIN'

                          ~~BETTY WHITE!''~~
                     
''OH INSPECTOR, YOU ARE TOO KIND
YES I'VE BEEN AROUND FOR A LONG LONG TIME
AND AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE APPRECIATION
PEOPLE HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME ALL THESE YEARS

MAYBE I'VE LASTED THIS LONG SIMPLY BECAUSE I LOVE WHAT I DO
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME .... ONTO THE REASON I AM HERE
           THE 'AWESOME AGAIN' AWARD

THE BASIS FOR THIS AWARD IS GENERALLY FOR
A REPEAT CHAMPIONSHIP FROM THE PREVIOUS YEAR
SUCH AS MM OR SS CHAMPION OR ANOTHER MAJOR ACHIEVEMENT

THIS YEAR THE ONLY 'REPEAT' EVENT IS FOR
  ~BLUNNY THE ENERGIZER BUNNY~
WHO ... THO HE DID NOT WIN MM OR SS,
     HE DID MANAGE TO ONCE AGAIN
'STEAL THE PRECIOUS' .... FOR THE 3rd STRAIGHT YEAR!
THEREFORE, THIS WOULD BE A '3-PEAT' OF ANOTHER KIND!''
                     



               
''TAKE CARE BETTY ... IF YOU RAN ON A RACETRACK
  YOU WOULD BE OUR SHINING STAR EVERY YEAR!


MOVING AHEAD TO OUR NEXT AWARD: 'FILLY OF THE YEAR'

HERE TO PRESENT THE TROPHY IS
A STAR OF THE VIEW, ACTRESS, COMEDIAN, AUTHOR ....
OUTSPOKEN ADVOCATE OF WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND THE PURRFECT
PERSON TO PRESENT THE AWARD FOR THE OUTSTANDING FILLY
OF THE 2017 SEASON:  ~MISS WHOOPIE GOLDBERG!''~

                     
''WELCOME TO THE VIEW, YA'LL.... OH WAIT, THIS ISN'T THE VIEW!
          THIS .... IS EVEN BIGGER THAN THE VIEW,
IT IS THE VIEW WE ALL HAVE OF THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE YEAR!

AND AS A FREAKY-FINE FILLY MYSELF, I AM INDEED HONORED
       TO PRESENT THE 'FILLY OF THE YEAR' AWARD

HONORABLE MENTION GOES TO  ~CATALINA~
*SUPURRR SATURDAY CHAMPION
*CAIXA ELETRONICA AWARD

THIS YEAR, WE HAVE DOUBLE DUO TROPHY WINNERS!

                    ~~TIGER DANCER~~
*DISTORTED HUMOR X 4
*GOLDEN GOOSE EGG CHAMP
*BOTS CHAMPION
*CAPRICIOUS CALCULATING COMBO CHAMPION (4-C)
*2nd: MM
*2nd: CRAFTY PROSPECTOR

                     ~~DUSTY~~
*MM CHAMPION
*CRAFTY PROSPECTOR AWARD
*2nd: BOTS
*2nd: 4-C CHAMPION

THERE WAS NO WAY TO SEPARATE THESE 2 OUTSTANDING
  FAB-FILLYS AS EACH EARNED THEIR SHARE OF GLORY!''

     



       
''OUR NEXT AWARD IS THE MALE COUNTERPART:  'COLT OF THE YEAR'
PLEASE GIVE A WARM 'WHINNY-WHINNY' WELCOME
   TO OUR OWN TALKING HORSE  ~MR ED''~

     
''HAY HAY HAY - COLUMBO ....
I BROUGHT SOME OATS -&- BRAN JUST FOR YOU
NOT TO SUGGEST THAT AT YOUR AGE, YOU NEED BRAN?

I REALLY WANTED TO PRESENT THE AWARD FOR THOSE
FINE FRISKY FILLYS, BUT I WAS VOTED DOWN FOR THAT
        WHEN THEY CHOSE WHOOPIE INSTEAD!
         


SO BEING SUCH A CHARISMATIC CHARMING COLT MYSELF
I GUESS I HAD TO BE THE PERFECT PRESENTER FOR THIS AWARD!

HONORABLE MENTION: RUNNER UP IS:  ~CRUZAN~
WHO ALTHOUGH ENTERING THE TRACK FAIRLY LATE IN THE SEASON,
DID STACK UP SOME MAJOR CREDITS
*** 3-PEAT ~ RISEN STAR AWARD ~ 4 MM ~ 2 BOTS

OUR COLT OF THE YEAR WILL BE: ~THE 'ENERGIZER-BLUNNY!'~
*THE PRECIOUS (3rd Year)
*BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR
*4 SS ~  6 MM ~ 3 BOTS
THIS CHARISMATIC COLT CAME TO THE STARTING GATE
    EACH AND EVERY TIME .... WITH HIS
'BATTERIES' FULLY CHARGED AND READY TO RUN!'''
             


       
"OK MR ED .... OFF YA GO BACK TO ENTERTAINING THOSE FILLYS!

         ******     ******     ******     ******     ******


      **2017 MEOW MIX AWARDS -- PART 2**
              ---> NOW POSTED <--- 

HOPE YA'LL ENJOY

                         

SO MANY LONSHOTS DID WE SEE
  BUT, SADLY NONE WERE MINE
NOT ENUFF CATNIP IN THE LAIR
  TO STOP THIS FELINE WHINE! 
                   

LATER ARROGATE BROKE MY HEART
BUT THEN, I THOUGHT HE MIGHT
HE SHOULD HAVE MADE HIS PEGASUS WIN
      END HIS CAREER THAT NIGHT
                   

YESTERDAY ~ MY 'STELLAR WIND'
WAS REDUCED TO JUST A SIGH
TO BID FAREWELL IN SUCH A WAY
    IT EVEN MADE ME CRY
                 

MY 'KITTENS ROAR' AT LEAST DID WIN   
     TO START MY DAY OFF RIGHT
  BUT MY PURRRS WERE VERY FEW
   BY THE ENDING OF THE NIGHT
                           

'GOOD MAGIC' MADE ME HAPPY   :chickendance:
MY SECOND HORSE WHO WON
BUT, SO MANY DISAPPOINTMENTS
ON A DAY THAT SHOULD BE FUN

      HINDSIGHT IS 20/20
TODAY THAT PROVED SO TRUE
WHEN REMEMBERING DECISIONS
AND THE WRONG ONES I DID DO
               

FREAKY FINISH FIASCOS
CHAMPIONS RUNNING BAD
A DAY THAT SHOULD BRING HAPPY
   INSTEAD JUST LEFT ME SAD
                       

SO TOMORROW WHEN I WAKEN
AND DECIDE UPON MY COURSE
THE OBVIOUS CHOICE TO DO
IS GO OUT AND HUG MY HORSE
             

           2017 SPOOKY RESULTS   

       

       
       GOOD AFTERNOON & WELCOME
    TO A SPECIAL SUPURRR-SATURDAY


  FEATURING  ~THE ANNUAL SPOOKTACULAR EVENT~



OUR FEATURE EVENT TODAY IS: THE SPOOKS -&- SPECTRES STAKES
        PRESENTED BY:  TRICK -OR- TREATS
     


              FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
     WE OFFER SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY
                     
      YOU ALWAYS HAVE WATCHED HORSES RUN ~
YOU MAY HAVE SEEN CAMELS - LLAMAS - OSTRICH - DOGS -
EVEN TURTLES RACE, THO THAT'S NOT QUITE AS EXCITING
AND REQUIRES A VERY SLOW -&- PATIENT MIND TO APPRECIATE

TODAY WE OFFER A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE
    THAT WILL LIVE IN YOUR MEMORY
AND PERHAPS, FOR SOME, EVEN IN YOUR NIGHTMARES

PLEASE DON'T BE FRIGHTENED WHEN THE PARTICIPANTS     
       ENTER THE TRACK FOR THE POST PARADE

            HIGH SECURITY IS IN PLACE
      TO PREVENT HARM TO RUNNERS -&- VISITORS     
THANKS TO THE BODACIOUS BELMONT SECURITY BRIGADE
 

     
** TODAY'S EVENT DOES CARRY A RATING OF PG-13**
       
   **ALSO POSSIBLE INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE, NUDITY,
         VULGARITY, MILD VIOLENCE, -&- BAWDY HUMOR
           
                                               
      OUR GUEST TRACK ANNOUNCER TODAY IS:
          **CASPER ~ THE FRIENDLY GHOST**

       

PLEASE GIVE HIM A WARM WELCOME BUT DO NOT BE ALARMED
WHEN YOU SEE HIM FLOATING OVERHEAD, AS HE WILL NOT BE
DOING THE RACE CALL FROM THE USUAL ANNOUNCER'S BOOTH!
HE WILL BE HOVERING OVER THE TRACK FOR THE ENTIRE RACE

2 VERY SPECIAL ''SPIRIT'' GUESTS HAVE MANAGED TO HITCHHIKE
ABOARD THE T.A.R.D.I.S  (*TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSION IN SPACE)
WITH THE CONSENT OF DR WHO, TO JOIN US IN TODAY'S FESTIVITIES         
                    CELEBRATING THE SPOOKTACULAR

A MOMENT OF SILENCE ~ AFFECTION -&- APPRECIATION
TO WELCOME:  CRIMINAL TYPE  -&-  JOHN HENRY
       
 



~OUR POST PARADE IS ABOUT TO START~
      SO PLEASE GIVE A STANDING OVATION TO
       THE 2017 SPOOKTACULAR PARTICIPANTS:




         
~CHESHIRE CAT~
(In Wonderland) =========== TRAINED BY:  RUFFIAN



  ~CARMEN SANDIEGO~
(Gumshoe / Master Thief)  ===== TRAINED BY:  CATALINA



~MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT~ ==== TRAINED BY: POST TIME MIKE
(Horror Host Sci Fi TV)



  ~SEVEN OF NINE~
(Star Trek Voyager) ========= TRAINED BY: PEEPTOAD



  ~INIGO MONTOYA~
(Princess Bride) ============ TRAINED BY: REAL QUIET (DC)



  ~PETER GRIFFIN~
(Family Guy)  ============= TRAINED BY: CIGARSHOP



  ~RIVER SONG~
(Dr Who-Time Traveler) ======= TRAINED BY: DUSTY



~TRUMP-IN-DRAG~ ========== TRAINED BY: BLUNNY
 

         
  ~YORICK~
(Hamlet) =============== TRAINED BY: THUNDER CAT



  ~LADY GODIVA~
(Bodacious & Bare) ======== TRAINED BY: TIGER DANCER




WE NOW TURN YOU OVER TO OUR TRACK ANNOUNCER:  CASPER
               


     

  THE PARTICIPANTS ARE AT THE STARTING LINE READY TO RUN

     AND THEY'RE OFF -- IN THE 2017 SPOOKTACULAR ...

EVERYONE AWAY IN FAIRLY GOOD FASHION
EXCEPT FOR INIGO MONTOYA WHO STUMBLED BADLY ~
HIS SWORD, NEARLY IMPALING PETER GRIFFIN
WHOSE BELLY WAS SAVED JUST IN TIME FROM SERIOUS INJURY!

     


OUT FOR A SHORT LEAD ARE
THE CHESHIRE CAT AND 7-OF-9

THAT DUO IS FOLLOWED BY
A QUICKLY RECOVERING PETER GRIFFIN WHO,
IN SPITE OF A HEAVY WEIGHT DISADVANTAGE,
SEEMS TO BE MOVING ALONG RATHER WELL IN THE EARLY GOING!
                 


   LADY GODIVA IS RIGHT THERE
SHE SEEMS TO BE A MAJOR DISTRACTION TO PETER GRIFFIN
WHO, NOW, IS HAVING TROUBLE RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE!

RIVER SONG IS GAINING GROUND VERY QUICKLY
  ON THE FRONT RUNNING FIVE IN THE LEAD

TRUMP-IN-DRAG IS HAVING SOME DIFFICULTY
AS HIS GOWN IS TURNING INTO A BAD CHOICE OF ATTIRE,
CAUSING A MAJOR DIFFICULTY IN THE ART OF RUNNING!
             


IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO YORICK
  WHO IS JUST 'ROLLING'ALONG
BUT NOT GAINING MUCH SPEED YET
(Can't Find His Running Legs Since He Has None!)

EVEN FARTHER BACK ARE MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT~
CARMEN SANDIEGO -&- A STRUGGLING INIGO MONTOYA


                    OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME


RIVER SONG WITH A VERY SUDDEN SURGE OF SPEED
HAS NOW TAKEN QUITE A BIG LEAD ~ ~ ALTHOUGH FOR AN INSTANT ~
IT ALMOST SEEMED AS IF SHE 'DISAPPEARED' THEN REAPPEARED?

       


WITH A BIG GRIN ON HER FACE,
THE CHESHIRE CAT IS RIGHT THERE
NOT LETTING RIVER SONG RUN AWAY WITH THE LEAD!

       


THIS DUO HAS SEPARATED THEMSELVES FROM
THE REST OF THE FIELD -- BY AT LEAST 20+ LENGTHS
PUTTING ON QUITE A DISPLAY OF SPEED -&- POWER!

TRUMP-IN-DRAG NOT ONLY HAVING MAJOR GOWN ISSUES ~
BUT ALSO NOW HAS ANOTHER SITUATION TO DEAL WITH 
AS LADY GODIVA IS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM AND THE POOR GUY
    LOSING FOCUS ~ IS VEERING ALL OVER THE TRACK!

       

PETER GRIFFIN IS NEXT BUT HAVING TROUBLE TRYING TO RUN
BEHIND A BARE-NEKKED-LADY & KEEP HIS MIND ON RUNNING!

IT'S A LONG WAY BACK TO MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT ~
              CARMEN SANDIEGO ~ YORICK ~ 7-OF-9  ~
          AND A STILL VERY SLUGGISH INIGO MONTOYA
WHO SEEMS TO HAVING A MAJOR ISSUE WITH THE TRACK TODAY
                      OR ~ PERHAPS SOMETHING ELSE?


             THEY'VE REACHED THE TOP OF THE STRETCH


RIVER SONG ALL ALONE NOW ON THE LEAD

AS THE CHESHIRE CAT GOT A BIT DISTRACTED
BY A FLOCK OF BIRDS OVERHEAD -AND-
PROBABLY THINKING OF ''DINNER''  ~  NOT RUNNING!
=



A HUGE ROAR FROM THE CROWD HAS EVERYONE UP ON THEIR FEET!
       WHAT COULD IT BE TO CAUSE SUCH A BOLD-RUCKUS?

IT'S A BLURR OF NUDITY AS THE BARE-NAKED-LADY GODIVA
HAS TURNED UP THE HEAT (CAUSE SHE MIGHT BE GETTING CHILLY)
    AND NOW HAS STOLEN THE LEAD AWAY FROM RIVER SONG!

             


THE CHESHIRE CAT, WITH HER COMPOSURE REGAINED IS NEXT

YORICK IS BEGINNING TO ''ROLL''  ALONG RATHER QUICKLY ~
PASSING MANY IN THE WAY ~ GIVING SOME A SUDDEN FRIGHT
             


  MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT ~
FINALLY WAKING UP HIS INNER 'MAD SCIENTIST' 
FOUND HIS BEST FORMULA OF SPEED, AND
IS NOW GAINING GROUND ON THE 4 IN FRONT OF HIM

             


POOR PETER GRIFFIN, WITH SO MUCH 'JUNK-IN-THE-TRUNK'
     IS STRUGGLING BADLY --- JUST TRYING TO KEEP UP

TRUMP-IN-DRAG ~  FINDING IT TOO LATE TO RECONSIDER HIS
GOWN CHOICE,  IS TRIPPING OVER THE DRESS SO BADLY THAT
     ANY CHANCE OF A DECENT CLOSING KICK IS FUTILE!

STILL FAR BACK ARE 7-OF-9 WHO SEEMS TO HAVE HER HEAD IN
THE CLOUDS ELSEWHERE, BUT NOT FOCUSSED ON RUNNING

   


CARMEN SANDIEGO ~ TRYING TO FIGHT OFF INIGO MONTOYA
WHO HAS BEEN SNEAKING UP ON HER,
IN AN ATTEMPT TO STEAL THE LEANING-TOWER-OF-PISA
SHE HAS ATTACHED TO THE SADDLE
WHICH MAY BE THE REASON FOR HER SLOWNESS TODAY?

 


         DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME


LADY GODIVA NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS OF BEING CHILLY
HAS INCREASED HER LEAD,  SHOWING HER BARE-BEHIND
        TO ALL THE ONES NOW TRYING TO CATCH HER
            BUT WITH THEIR FOCUS  ALL ASKEW ~ 
  NONE ARE GAINING ON THE BARE-NAKED-LADY YET                 

RIVER SONG IS SLOWLY GAINING ON LADY GODIVA AS THE
NUDITY FACTOR HAS NO EFFECT ON HER AS IT HAS ON SOME

YORICK SUDDENLY KICKED INTO A TINA TURNER IMPRESSION OF
PROUD MARY = ''ROLLIN, ROLLIN, KEEP ON TURNIN''  AND HAS
ROLLED RIGHT ON BY THE CHESHIRE CAT -- WHO NOW DOESN'T
         SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A BIG GRIN ON HER FACE!

MORGUS IS SO CLOSE TO YORICK, HE NEARLY STUMBLED
OVER THE SKULL IN HIS PATH!  THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE!

PETER GRIFFIN WITH SO MUCH ''EXCESS BAGGAGE'' IS STRUGGLING
AND POSSIBLY MENTALLY CONSIDERING A VISIT TO JENNY CRAIG!

TRUMP-IN-DRAG HAS ALMOST DESTROYED THE GOWN INTO SHREDS
       AS HE KEEPS ON TRYING TO RUN, WITHOUT ANY SUCCESS

7-OF-9 -&- CARMEN SANDIEGO FAR BACK
ONLY AHEAD OF A VERY TIRED, STRUGGLING INIGO MONTOYA
WHO MAY BE VANNED OFF AND EXAMINED AFTER THE RACE
TO DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT CAUSED
THIS USUALLY SPEEDY SWORDSMAN -- TO RUN LIKE A SNAIL!

SUDDENLY AN EXPLOSIVE ROAR FROM THE CROWD AS THE
                     WIRE LOOMS JUST AHEAD


LADY GODIVA WAY IN FRONT GLANCES BACK OVER HER SHOULDER
                          BUT SEES NOTHING!!! 
SO WHAT COULD BE CAUSING THE REACTION FROM THE CROWD ~ 
       NOW SCREAMING LIKE A PACK OF WILD BANSHEES

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE,  WITH NO PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATION ~
RIVER SONG HAS SUDDENLY APPEARED IN FRONT OF LADY-GODIVA

           BUT -----HOW CAN THAT BE? 

THE TARDIS WAS DECLARED ILLEGAL TO USE
DURING THE RUNNING OF THE RACE
BUT COULD RIVER SONG HAVE IGNORED THAT WARNING ~   
THINKING THAT SOMEHOW,  SHE COULD GET AWAY WITH IT

AND AS RIVER SONG HAS CROSSED THE FINISH LINE
THERE ARE MULTIPLE OBJECTION LIGHTS FLASHING!

TRAINERS RUNNING OUT ON THE FIELD ~ FAST -&- FURIOUS ~
         
OUTRAGED BY WHAT MAY BE A DISQUALIFICATION
IF IT IS DISCOVERED THAT RIVER SONG
INDEED USED THE TARDIS TO JUMP TIME -&- SPACE
IN ORDER TO WIND UP IN FRONT OF LADY GODIVA,
WHO BY NOW,  IS ANYTHING BUT 'CHILLY' ~ FUMING ~ ON FIRE
             

THE STEWARDS ARE SURROUNDED BY GRUMBLING, SHOUTING,
NAME-CALLING, FURY, AS THEY RETIRE TO REVIEW THE REPLAY

                             
            ** HOLD ALL TICKETS **

   AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY OF WAITING ~
THE STEWARDS HAVE ANNOUNCED THEIR FINAL DECISION

WITH AN APOLOGY TO LADY GODIVA, THEY SAY THEY CANNOT
FIND THE ADEQUATE 'PROOF' THAT RIVER SONG USED THE TARDIS

THIS DECISION MAY BE UP FOR MANY A DISCUSSION LATER ON
IN BARS, SPEAK-EASY'S, PASTURES, SHIPS, IN DEEP SPACE,
GRAVEYARDS, WONDERLAND, -&- EVEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

     BUT THE FINAL WORD BY THOSE IN CHARGE IS OFFICIAL

OBJECTIONS INCLUDE:

ILLEGAL USE OF TIME -&- SPACE BY RIVER SONG (Dismissed)

AN ACCUSATION THAT LADY GODIVA WAS SEEN EARLIER
TRYING TO 'ENTICE / BRIBE' THE STEWARDS
PREYING ON THEIR MASCULINE VULNERABILITY ~
            IT DIDN'T WORK THO
*A PENDING INVESTIGATION -&- POSSIBLE FINE

INIGO MONTOYA = FINED FOR ILLEGAL SWORD FIGHT
TRYING TO STEAL FROM CARMEN SANDIEGO DURING THE RACE

MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT TELLS STEWARDS THAT HE IS SURE
THE CHESHIRE CAT DISAPPEARED RIGHT AT THE WIRE WITH
ONLY HER SMILE VISIBLE, WHICH SCARED HIM SO BADLY, HE
        LOST HIS MOMENTUM AS WELL AS THE PRECIOUS!
               


INVESTIGATION OF INIGO MONTOYA'S SADDLE BAGS FINALLY
   REVEALED THE REASON FOR SUCH A SLUGGISH EFFORT!
IN THE SADDLE BAG THEY DISCOVERED THE OFFICIAL BOOK OF RULES
THE SIZE -&- WEIGHT OF THAT BOOK WOULD SLOW EVEN ''THE FLASH''
                     


SO THE 2017 SPOOKY SPOOKTACULAR NOW COMES TO AN END
THE SPONSORS SINCERELY OFFER THEIR APOLOGIES FOR ANY
IMPENDING NIGHTMARES SOME FANS MAY INCUR LATER ON


                  $$-OFFICIAL RESULTS-$$


1st ~ RIVER SONG ============ $160.90
(*Sneaky Sudden Use Of A V.I.P. Code In Final Furlong!)
~WINNER -&- BADASS OF BELMONT~


2nd ~ LADY GODIVA =========== $141.30
(*Consoled by Peter Griffin After The Race Who Seemed As Upset As She Was)
~RUNNER-UP / BRIDESMAID~
**WORE DRESS FOR AWARDS PRESENTATION


3rd ~ YORICIK =============== $81.10
(*Inspired By Tina Turner In Final Furlong To Roll By Cheshire Cat)
~FLOWER-BEARER~


4th ~ CHESHIRE CAT =========== $76.90
(*NO Smile In Sight! Appears Disgruntled, Dismayed, Depressed ~
      But Secretly Grinning Within As She Covets The Precious!
She Holds NO Fear Of Gollum, Being Able To Disappear In An Instant)
~RING-BEARER~


     ~~ ALSO RAN (Or Waddled / Stumbled / Grumbled)  ~~


MORGUS THE MAGNIFICENT ======= $76.20
(*Still Convinced The Cheshire Cat Pulled A Fast One At The Wire)

PETER GRIFFIN =============== $63.80
(* Jenny Craig maybe)

TRUMP-IN-DRAG =============== $42.50
(*Has Fired His Dress Designer! )

7 OF 9 ===================== $26.20
(*Signed On For Another Tour-Of-Duty In Space)

CARMEN SANDIEGO ============= $19.20
(*Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?
   Probably In The Cat House Overdosing On Catnip!)

(DC) INIGO MONTOYA ============ $11.50
(*In The 'Stockade'  For Sword Fight -&- Attempted Robbery)               
   Also The 1st Recipient Of The Yo-Yo-Dude Award!
   




*********************************************
    WE NOW BID YOU A GOOD -&- SPOOKY EVENING
             FULL OF TRICKS AND TREATS
MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS BE SWEET, SASSY -&- SUPURRR
 



  ~~ Graphics By:  TIGER DANCER ~~

                                         


SPOOKTACULAR RESULTS UPDATE: APPROPRIATELY ON HALLOWEEN! 

DUE TO THE LENGTH OF THIS RACE CALL
(*NO! Not As Long As Meow Mix Awards!!!) 

THE COMMENTARY TOOK ME OVER 5 HOURS TO WRITE   

BUT WITH TEN 'CHARACTERS' IN THE GATE, MC  & 2 SPIRITS IN ATTENDANCE ~
                                  GRAPHICS NEEDED FOR ALL THOSE ~
          PLUS THE GRAPHICS THAT APPEAR AS THE RACE PROGRESSES
                           IS A HUGELY TIME CONSUMING PROCESS
                                                 

TIGER DANCER TRIES HER BEST TO ACCOMMODATE IN A FAIRLY TIMELY FASHION 
                          BUT EVEN SOMETIMES, AS WE ALL KNOW~
                THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE & MAN GET WAYLAID
                    WITH THE MICE = THE CAT SUDDENLY APPEARS 

WITH TIGER DANCER, THE ISSUE IS A COMBINATION OF TECHNICAL ISSUES
          WITH THE GRAPHICS AND THE DAILY COMPLEXITIES OF  ''LIFE''
                                                   
                                                   

               IT IS TRULY THE MOST BIZARRE OF ANY RACE CALL OF THE YEAR!

HOPEFULLY YOU WILL BE UNDERSTANDING, PATIENT, EMPATHETIC TO THE SITUATION
                                 AND WILL CONSIDER THE WAIT WORTH IT!

         WITH SOME HALLOWEEN MAGICK IN THE AIR AND A LITTLE BIT O' LUCK

                THE RESULTS MAY APPEAR SOMETIME TODAY SO STAY TUNED!