Kentucky's Country Blue Grass Race Track
Kentucky's Downs Results
Back by popular demand or a poor sense of humor of the racing God's
who love to torment a former harness racing player.
Your play by play will be brought to you by a habitual dog house resident.
Kentucky Downs is the home to Americas only European-style (all turf) race course,
1 mile and 5/16 in length found in Franklin, Ky.
The course is kidney shaped, featuring undulation
and a unique right hand bend turn with subtle elevation changes throughout
a sweeping turn into what becomes a dog-legged stretch run of more than 1/4 mile.
The owners, trainers and jockeys are the elite of racing.
There are no grandstands, you bring lawn chairs and coolers.
There is no admission fees and the track announcer
stands on a veranda(2nd floor) over looking the track to call the races.
No time to waste, all are lined up for the Mile and 1/4 Freaky Franklin Graded Stakes Race.
Gates open and all step forward except in Tiger Dancer's slot there is an
explosion of smoke blanketing her entire area leaving her invisible to sight.
Not noticed by the other runners, but noticed by the Stewards, starters and asst starters.
As the smoke clears, Tiger has disappeared.
Stewards send security to the gate and they just stand about scratching their heads.
Just about to pass the finish line for the first time
we find Dusty and Roamin leading a slowly paced field.
Back at the gate their is panic as a horse(Tiger Dancer) approaches
down the stretch and the gate has not been moved out of the way.
Standing at the back of the gate the crew waving hands,
handkerchief's and bunny ears(courtesy of the announcer)
trying to distract Tiger from crashing into the gate
when she leaps over the gate and sprints by the field
to cross the finish line, lapping the field.
Her draft helps the hapless bunch to pick up the pace.
With Catalina taking over second by a large margin,
the Bunny and Cruzan battling for 3rd
ahead of a confused bunch of also rans wondering what just happened.
Gate out of the way, the field heads into the stretch
with Catalina skipping across the finish line 2nd comfortably,
Cruzan edges the bunny for 3rd.
The others should be nameless for their efforts
but due endorsement contracts,
Roamin 5th, Ruffian 6th, Thunder Cat 7th,
and Dusty(DC) 8th showing she is a better sprinter than a marathoner.
Stewards check the tapes to see if Tiger cut across the track,
had David Cooperfield transported her to the top of the stretch,
Scotty Beamed her up to the Enterprise and deposited her behind the gate.
Vets poured all over her as she enjoyed the massage of poking, prodding
stroking with their hands.
Her ENERGIZED speed was due to the fact
she didn't want to be late for her hot date with the announcer. ME
Official Finish
1st Tiger Dancer $ 109.00 It was magic
2nd Catalina $ 79.00 Good for 1st another day
3rd Cruzan $ 43.60 Chasing the fillies once again
4th Blunny $ 35.40 Another precious, planning to melt down all those gold rings
Roamin $29, Ruffian $22, Thunder Cat $21 and Dusty(DC) $15.40
whose CAT house needs a good dusting
Special Award: DUSTY = YO YO MAMA
{From last time Penthouse To Cat House Today}