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Messages - RUFFIAN

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#2761

Handicapping / Re: ~MEOW-MIX AWARDS - 2013~

January 12, 2014, 05:07:02 PM

AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE ADDITIONAL GRAPHICS
BY TIGER DANCER HAVE NOW BEEN COMPLETED!
:chickendance:

PLEASE CHECK IT OUT SO THAT THE MANY DAYS DEDICATED TO THIS PROJECT
BY TIGER DANCER --------- WILL NOT BE A WASTED EFFORT

#2762

Handicapping / Re: ~MEOW-MIX AWARDS - 2013~

January 07, 2014, 07:30:38 PM

AND A BIG TO TIGER DANCER FOR GRAPHICS

THEY BRING MY WORDS TO LIFE!

______

_______

#2763

Handicapping / Re: ~MEOW-MIX AWARDS - 2013~

January 07, 2014, 08:28:04 AM

CIGARSHOP
THE GREATEST GIFT A CREATIVE PERSON CAN HOPE FOR IS
APPRECIATION FROM OTHERS!
AND YOU ALWAYS VOICE YOUR APPRECIATION OF MY EFFORTS

FOR ME IT IS A CREATIVE CHALLENGE TO TRY AND MAKE
EACH RACE CALL A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT & ENTERTAINING

BUT MY GREATEST CHALLENGE OF ALL IS THE MEOW MIX AWARDS
I RACKED MY BRAIN FOR WEEKS.... OK MAYBE MONTHS...

TRYING TO COME UP WITH A THEME THAT COULD OUTSHINE
LAST YEAR'S JOURNEY INTO WONDERLAND

SOMEHOW THE DOCTOR ~ MR SPOCK ~ SHELDON COOPER
ALL SEEMED TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON

=====> MY DISTORTED HUMOR & TWISTED WIT

AND THUS YOU HAVE THE RESULT OF THAT CONCEPT

UNFORTUNATELY THE SPACE LIMIT WAS REACHED BEFORE
TIGER DANCER COULD ADD THE REMAINING GRAPHICS

SO AS SOON AS THAT ISSUE IS FIXED...
CHECK BACK TO SEE WHAT WAS MISSING THE FIRST TIME!

AS FOR YOUR AWARD.....YOU EARNED IT!

YOU HAD AN EXCELLENT YEAR
WITH OR WITHOUT THE BEER!

MEOWS FROM THE CAT HOUSE

#2764

Handicapping / ~2013 MEOW-MIX AWARDS~

January 04, 2014, 11:01:36 PM

GOOD EVENING & WELCOME TO
**THE 2013 MEOW~MIX AWARDS**

HONORING THE 'BEST OF THE BEST'!!!

WE ARE DELIGHTED TO PRESENT OUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES
FOR THIS EVENING....
PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE: MR ROD SERLING
~~ "THANK YOU VERY MUCH ---
I AM HONORED AT BEING ASKED TO MC THIS HIGHLY ACCLAIMED CEREMONY
AND THERE IS SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE BEFORE OUR JOURNEY BEGINS".......

THERE IS A 5th DIMENSION BEYOND THAT WHICH IS KNOWN TO MAN.
A DIMENSION AS VAST AS SPACE & AS TIMELESS AS INFINITY
IT IS THE MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN LIGHT & SHADOW
BETWEEN SCIENCE & SUPERSTITION
THIS IS THE DIMENSION OF -------> IMAGINATION <-------

SO COME ALONG ON THIS JOURNEY TO AN AREA WE CALL -----
------><-------

DO NOT BE CONCERNED
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR VIEWING SCREEN OR EYES
DO NOT ATTEMPT ADJUSTMENTS ..... WE ARE CONTROLLING THE TRANSMISSION

SO JUST SIT QUIETLY
AS YOU ARE ABOUT TO PARTICIPATE IN A GRANDE ADVENTURE
AND EXPERIENCE THE AWE AND MYSTERY WHICH REACHES
~~~FROM THE INNER MIND TO ~ ~ ~

AND THAT JOURNEY BEGINS NOW .........

ONCE UPON A TIME ..... IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY
ON A PLANET CALLED GALLIFREY ~~
THERE WAS A BLUE LONDON POLICE BOX SPINNING IN SPACE
IT WAS CALLED THE TARDIS

(TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSIONS IN SPACE)
AKA ===> A TIME MACHINE

THE CHIEF RESIDENT / TIME LORD, KNOWN AS "THE DOCTOR"

TRAVELS THRU TIME & SPACE WITH HIS COMPANIONS:

A VERY GRUMPY CAT~~

AND A PERSNICKETY POMERANIAN NAMED 'QRFUFFL'
~~(MEANS: CAUSING A DISRUPTION)

LANGUAGE WAS NO PROBLEM BETWEEN THESE 3
AS THAT ISSUE WAS EASILY RESOLVED BY THE
TARDIS LANGUAGE TRANSLATOR

BUT LATELY THE COMPANIONS WERE GETTING BORED
SO THE DOCTOR DECIDED TO END THE BOREDOM FOR THEM
WITH A NEW EXCITING ADVENTURE

THE DOCTOR DREW THEM NEAR AND TOLD THEM
THEY WERE GOING TO EXPLORE A STRANGE NEW WORLD
WITH SOME EVEN STRANGER ACTIVITIES
THAT PERHAPS MIGHT EASE THEIR BOREDOM

THAT STRANGE NEW WORLD IS CALLED: EARTH
WHERE THEY HAVE A PECULIAR EVENT THAT MANY SEEM TO ENJOY

THEY HONOR BIG BEASTS KNOWN AS 'HORSES'
THEY SPEND MANY HOURS ON A REGULAR BASIS WATCHING THEM RUN IN CIRCLES
THEY EVEN BET MONEY ON WHO CAN RUN FASTER
WHO RUNS BETTER ON TURF OR DIRT
THEY EVEN DEBATE WHO IS THE BETTER GENDER ------
FEMALES KNOWN AS FILLIES & MALES CALLED COLTS

SEEMS LIKE SUCH FOOLISHNESS
BUT IF IT HELPS CURE THEIR BOREDOM ---- SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!

AND AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY WE GO!

MEOW MIX SPACE STATION REPORTING ON THE
TRAJECTORY OF THE DOCTOR & THE TARDIS
LATEST GPS SHOWS THE TARDIS SPINNING TO EARTH
AND ABOUT TO LAND AT HOLLYWOOD PARK RACETRACK

AMIDST THE TREES NEARBY....
AVOIDING BEING SEEN BY THE EARTH INHABITANTS WHO
ARE BUSY SCURRYING INTO THE AWARDS CEREMONY
WHICH IS ABOUT TO BEGIN

GRUMPY CAT & QRFUFFL ARE NOT IMPRESSED YET
BUT THE DOCTOR HAS ASSURED THEM THAT THE BEST IS YET TO COME
PATIENCE IS A QUALITY NOT FAMILIAR TO THOSE 2 COMPANIONS

AS THE DOCTOR & HIS COMPANIONS PEEK THRU THE TREES
THEY NOW CAN SEE THE RED CARPET LINED WITH ALFALFA
WHICH APPARENTLY IS THE PATH THAT THE 'HONORED ONES'
WOULD BE WALKING DOWN

MOVING IN A BIT CLOSER FOR A BETTER VIEW
THEY NOW SEE WHAT APPEARS TO BE THE MASTER OF CEREMONIES --
MR ROD SERLING WHO WILL BE CONDUCTING THE EVENING'S EVENT

LET'S LISTEN IN ----

GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO **THE 2013 MEOW~MIX AWARDS**

BEFORE WE BEGIN WITH THIS YEAR'S AWARDS....WE WANT YOU TO
WELCOME THE REIGNING HORSE OF THE YEAR
THIS ROOKIE FILLY WON ALMOST EVERY AWARD POSSIBLE
AND HERE SHE COMES ---- PLEASE GIVE A RESOUNDING APPLAUSE FOR
~TY88~
~IT'S GOOD TO BE THE QUEEN~

AND NOW IT IS MY HONOR TO PRESENT THE SHINING STARS OF 2013:

TY88 = 2012 HOTY

CRIMINAL TYPE = 2011 HOTY
2012 = CRAFTY PROSPECTOR AWARD
COLT OF THE YEAR
AWESOME AGAIN AWARD

RUFFIAN = 2012 -- SS CHAMPION -- CAIXA ELETRONICA AWARD

DUSTY = 2010 HOTY
2012 = MOST IMPROVED -- LOST IN THE FOG AWARD

KD = 2011 DISTORTED HUMOR AWARD

EL PRADO

GOTADUN-QH

REAL QUIET = 2012 BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR

HORSE CRAZY GAL = 2012 LION HEART AWARD

TIGER DANCER = 2011 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
2012 = DISTORTED HUMOR AWARD & THEATRICAL AWARD

JOHN HENRY

JT DANCER

CIGARSHOP

CATALINA

HIWAY GAL

PEEPTOAD

RAVEN

RSA

POST TIME MIKE

AND NOW FOR THE FIRST AWARD OF THE EVENING....

THE 2013 BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR ~
WHO CAME IN 2nd MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE?
THIS SEASON IT WAS A CLOSE RACE TO THIS AWARD
IT IS A DEAD HEAT FOR 2nd PLACE WITH 13 POINTS EACH:
~ CRIMINAL TYPE & CIGARSHOP ~

AND THE WINNER IS: ~RUFFIAN~ WITH 14 POINTS

OUR NEXT AWARD IS: MOST IMPROVED
NOMINEES INCLUDE:
EL PRADO
JT DANCER
CIGARSHOP
TIGER DANCER

THIS FILLY MANAGED:
4 BOTS WINS
5 MM WINS
2 SS WINS & A FROSTED WHISKER
AND THE WINNER IS: ~TIGER DANCER~

SPEAKING OF **FROSTED WHISKERS**
**{Those Who Attempted A 3-Peat But Failed To Win It}
WE SAW 7 ACHIEVE THIS FEAT THIS YEAR:

RUFFIAN
GOTADUN-QH
DUSTY
EL PRADO
CIGARSHOP
TIGER DANCER

BUT THE EVEN MORE OUTSTANDING ACCOMPLISHMENT WAS
CRIMINAL TYPE GETTING 3 FROSTED WHISKERS
CONGRATS ~CRIMINAL TYPE~ ON THE TOP FROSTED WHISKER AWARD

OUR NEXT AWARD IS: THE RISEN STAR
WHO HAS RISEN FROM MAIDEN CLAIMER TO STAKES WINNER
WHO HAS SHOWED BRILLIANT ABILITY, DETERMINATION, COURAGE
IN SPITE OF ADVERSITY & DEFEAT ~

HERE TO PRESENT THE RISEN STAR AWARD ---
IS THE NAMESAKE OF THAT AWARD
PLEASE WELCOME THE CHAMPION: ** RISEN STAR! **

RESOUNDING STANDING OVATION AS RISEN STAR TROTS ON UP TO
THE PODIUM TO PRESENT THIS YEAR'S RECIPIENT
A HUSH HAS FALLEN OVER THE CROWD AS RISEN STAR PULLS A
PAPER FROM HIS SADDLE BAG ======
GIVING IT TO MR SERLING TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER

AND THE WINNER OF THE RISEN STAR AWARD FOR 2013 IS:
~ CIGARSHOP ~

HERE TO PRESENT OUR NEXT AWARD ~~ THE DISTORTED HUMOR TROPHY
PLEASE WELCOME DR. SHELDON COOPER FROM "THE BIG BANG THEORY"

"THANK YOU, MR SERLING
OF COURSE BEING THE WITTY CLEVER FELLOW I ALWAYS AM
THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO OTHER LOGICAL CHOICE TO PRESENT THIS AWARD!
ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE HAD TO GAIN 60 IQ POINTS
TO EVEN COME CLOSE TO MY BRILLIANT TWISTED WIT!"

THE UNANIMOUS CHOICE FOR THIS YEAR'S DISTORTED HUMOR AWARD
-----------------> A DEAD HEAT! <------------------

APPARENTLY THE VOTERS COULD NOT SEPARATE THESE TWO NOMINEES
WHICH ONE WAS MORE TWISTED WITTY?
SO THEY WILL SHARE THE AWARD .... BONDED BY THEIR DISTORTED HUMOR ~

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE OUR DYNAMIC DUO ...
~ TIGER DANCER & CIGARSHOP ~
~~~

AND HERE THEY COME ..... WHINNYING & CHORTLING ALL THE WAY
AS IF THEY HAD SOME SECRET NOBODY ELSE KNOWS!

OUR NEXT NEW AWARD IS THE DOG-HOUSE AWARD ~
WHO FINISHED IN LAST PLACE MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE?
PRESENTING THIS AWARD PLEASE WELCOME
BRIAN GRIFFIN ~ FROM: "FAMILY GUY" ~
~~ "WOOOOOF WOOOOOOOF GRRRRRRRRR!"

RUNNER UP FOR THIS "HONOR" -(?)- IS ---> JOHN HENRY WITH 12 POINTS
BUT THE EASY WINNER IS ~CRIMINAL TYPE~ WITH 16 POINTS
SO NOW THE OLE DOG HOUSE IS ALL HIS TO RE-DECORATE!

THANK YOU BRIAN ~

WE ARE NOW GOING TO TAKE A SHORT BREAK
FOR THE HUMANS TO STRETCH THEIR 2 LEGS
AND THE HORSES TO GO GRAB SOME HAY & CARROTS

*************************************************

DURING THE BREAK THE DOCTOR HAS DECIDED TO SURPRISE GRUMPY CAT & QRFUFFL
WITH A VISIT TO THE SHIRE TO MEET GANDALF & FRODO BAGGINS
IN A TARDIS IT'S LIKE A WINK OF AN EYE AND THERE YOU ARE!

STEPPING OUT OF THE TARDIS THE DOCTOR LEADS THE WAY TO THE SHIRE
WHERE FRODO IS TAKING HIS USUAL HOBBIT NAP ~
AWAKENED & VERY SURPRISED BUT EXCITED AT THIS UNEXPECTED VISIT FROM THE DOCTOR ...... FRODO FELL RIGHT ONTO THE FLOOR ---

BUT BOUNCING RIGHT UP WITH JOY AT SEEING HIS VISITORS HE WENT TO GO FIND GANDALF
WHICH IS MORE LIKE A THOUGHT TRANSMISSION RATHER THAN WALKING
AND RIGHT THERE BEFORE THEIR VERY EYES..... GANDALF APPEARED

EQUALLY SURPRISED BUT JOYFUL AT SEEING HIS OLD FRIEND, THE DOCTOR
ASKING THE REASON FOR THIS UNEXPECTED VISIT
THE DOCTOR THEN MENTIONED THEIR EXPERIENCE AT THE MEOW MIX AWARDS
AND ALSO THE FACT THAT THEY GIVE A 'GOLLUM AWARD'
FOR WHOVER WINS THE RING BEARER TITLE & THE 'PRECIOUS' MORE THAN ANY OTHER

AT THIS COMMENT FRODO ALMOST JUMPED OUT OF HIS HOBBIT FEET --
EXCLAIMING . "WHAT? I AM THE RING BEARER AND ONLY I HAVE "THE PRECIOUS"

THE DOCTOR THAN REASSURED FRODO THAT THE TROPHY WAS A REPLICA
AND OF COURSE ONLY FRODO HAS POSSESSION OF THE ORIGINAL 'PRECIOUS'
ALTHOUGH IT SOMETIMES CAN POSSESS THE RING BEARER!
ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR GOLLUM WHO MAY BE LURKING NEARBY

EAGER TO ACCEPT THE DOCTOR'S INVITATION
TO GO BACK ALONG WITH THEM TO THE AWARDS CEREMONY
GANDALF, FRODO & THE DOCTOR WITH HIS COMPANIONS
BOARD THE TARDIS TO RETURN TO HOLLYWOOD PARK

ARRIVING AT THE CEREMONY THEY OBSERVE THAT THE MC IS BACK ON THE STAGE
AND ABOUT TO RESUME THE AWARDS PRESENTATIONS
THE 5 UNSEEN VISITORS QUIETLY PEEK THRU THE TREES TO WATCH -------

***********************************************

"WELCOME BACK EVERYONE ~
WE WILL NOW CONTINUE WITH HONORING THE WINNERS OF THE YEAR

OUR NEXT AWARD IS: THE LOST IN THE FOG TROPHY
HERE TO PRESENT THAT TROPHY IS FOX MULDER FROM "THE X FILES"

---------------> 'WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?'

'THANKS MR SERLING ~
THIS YEAR WE HAVE A REPEAT WINNER OF THIS AWARD
WHICH IS GIVEN FOR ONE OF SEVERAL CRITERIA ....... BUT IN THIS CASE IT IS FOR
~WINNING WITH THE LOWEST AMOUNT OF MONEY~
"THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE" ....... AND SO IS ~DUSTY~!!!
WHO MANAGED ONCE AGAIN TO WIN THIS UNUSUAL AWARD
HAVING WON A DAY WITH AN IMPRESSIVE .... $41.50

OUR NEXT AWARD IS NEW THIS YEAR....IT IS THE GOLLUM TROPHY
-- REPRESENTING THE HORSE WHO FINISHED 4th
AS THE 'RING BEARER' -- AKA 'THE PRECIOUS' -- MORE OFTEN THAN ANY OTHER
THE RUNNER UP FOR THIS AWARD IS: RUFFIAN WITH 10

BUT THE RUNAWAY WINNER WITH 17 'RINGS' IS ~GOTADUN-QH~

AS EVERYONE TURNS AROUND -- EXPECTING TO SEE GOTADUN-QH ~
WHAT TO THEIR WONDERING EYES DOES APPEAR BUT
GANDALF THE GRAY & FRODO BAGGINS WHO RUSH ONTO THE STAGE
ANNOUNCING THEY WOULD BE HONORED TO PRESENT THE AWARD TO
GOTADUN-QH --- EVEN IF "THE PRECIOUS" IS NOT THE ORIGINAL ONE WHICH
MUST ALWAYS REMAIN IN FRODO'S POSSESSION ~

JUST AS GOTADUN-QH STEPS ONTO THE STAGE ---
SUDDENLY THERE IS A HORRIBLE GRUNTING SOUND COMING FROM THE BACK
AND AS EVERYONE TURNS AROUND TO SEE WHAT IS CAUSING THIS COMMOTION
TO THEIR HORROR THERE IS GOLLUM WHO HAD SNUCK ONTO THE TARDIS
AND NOW IS SCREAMING AS HE RUNS UP THE AISLE
"MY PRECIOUS...MY PRECIOUS......GOTS TO HAVE MY PRECIOUS"

GDQH RUNS AWAY SHOUTING -- "NO NO NO - IT'S JUST AN AWARD --- HELP!"
GANDALF RUNS TO HER RESCUE
MAKING GOLLUM DISAPPEAR IN A PUFF OF SMOKE

WELL THAT MADE FOR A VERY EXCITING INTERLUDE!!!

NOW ORDER HAS BEEN RESTORED ----
MR SERLING HAS REGAINED HIS COMPOSURE AND IS READY TO RESUME
THE AWARDS PRESENTATIONS ---

OUR NEXT AWARD IS: THE MID~WEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION
TO PRESENT THIS AWARD ~ HERE IS CALEB THE GEIKO CAMEL
WHO TROTS UP ONTO THE STAGE ASKING: 'WHAT DAY IS THIS?
THE CROWD QUICKLY RESPONDS WITH -----> 'IT'S HUMP DAY!'

INDEED IT WAS ALL YEAR ---
THE DEAD HEAT OF CRIMINAL TYPE & EL PRADO
WAS RESOLVED BY THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF MONEY EACH HAD WON ---
**IN 2ND PLACE WITH $743.10 IS ----> EL PRADO

AND THE WINNER IS ~CRIMINAL TYPE~ --- EARNING: $920.10

AND NOW OUR NEXT AWARD IS THE B.O.T.S TROPHY
GIVEN TO THE WINNER OF ~ THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES ~
HERE TO PRESENT THE AWARD ARE .... ROMEO & JULIET

WHO KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE ABOUT BATTLES

THE DEAD HEAT -- BETWEEN TIGER DANCER & EL PRADO WITH 4 WINS EACH
WAS RESOLVED AGAIN BY WHO HAD THE MOST MONEY ~
TIGER DANCER == $418
EL PRADO ===== $431

WINNER OF THE BOTS TROPHY IS ~EL PRADO~!
---AND---
** FILLIES ARE ~BOTS CHAMPIONS~ OF 2013!!! **

OUR NEXT AWARD IS: THE SUPURRR~SATURDAY CHAMPION
PRESENTED BY THE NAME THAT REMINDS US OF
**THE BEST SATURDAY IN THE YEAR ----> KENTUCKY DERBY DAY!!
AND HERE IS .... ORB
EXCITEMENT MOUNTS AS THE DERBY CHAMPION TROTS UP TO THE STAGE
~~~~

ONCE AGAIN WE HAVE A 3-WAY DEAD HEAT -- DETERMINED BY MONEY WON:
IN 3rd PLACE IS --------------- CIGARSHOP ($504.40)
IN 2nd PLACE IS --------------- JT DANCER ($508..00)

AND THE SS WINNER FOR 2013 IS ------> DUSTY! ($519.70)

OUR NEXT AWARD IS: THE FILLY OF THE YEAR
PRESENTED BY: GARFIELD WHO LOVES THE FILLIES
~~ ''MEOW MEOW MEOW" ~

THE RUNNER UP FOR THIS AWARD .... WITH 13 POINTS IS ---> DUSTY
AND THE WINNER WITH 16 POINTS IS -----> EL PRADO!

THE NEXT AWARD IS: THE 'CAIXA ELETRONICA' TROPHY
**FOR THE MOST MONEY WON IN A SINGLE DAY**
PRESENTED BY LAST YEAR'S WINNER:

"THANK YOU ---
I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE
TO HONOR THIS GREAT RACEHORSE ~CAIXA ELETRONICA~
FOR WHOM THIS AWARD IS NAMED

IN ONE SHOCKING MOMENT ...
HE WAS RUN DOWN BY A RUNAWAY HORSE ON SATURDAY.....
AND PAID THE ULTIMATE PRICE ~ HIS LIFE"

THIS YEAR THERE WAS NO DOUBT OF WHO WON THE MOST MONEY:

IT WAS HIGHWAY ROBBERY BY ~CRIMINAL TYPE~ WITH: $244.40
{JUST .40 CENTS OFF THE ALL TIME TRACK RECORD OF $244.80}
IRONICALLY ALSO HELD BY ------> ~CRIMINAL TYPE~

OUR NEXT AWARD IS ----- THE CRAFTY PROSPECTOR TROPHY
FOR THE **MOST MONEY EARNED IN THE YEAR**
JOINTLY PRESENTED BY: DONALD TRUMP & BILL GATES
~$$$~

IN 2nd PLACE IS ----> DUSTY EARNING: $875.70

AND IT IS NO BIG SURPRISE......
THIS YEAR'S WINNER IS ~CRIMINAL TYPE~ ..... WHO EARNED: $1210.40

THE NEXT AWARD IS FOR: THE COLT OF THE YEAR
PRESENTED BY RIN TIN TIN -------> SUPER CANINE HERO
~~ TRAINED TO PROTECT & SERVE

''WOOOOOF WOOOOOOF WOOOOOOF''
THIS YEAR'S WINNER WAS NOT EVEN A CLOSE RACE ~~
IT WAS THE YEAR OF THE TOP DOG - COLT
THE ONE WHO 'STOLE' ALL THE POINTS
THE SNEAKIEST CRIMINAL OF ALL ~
THE 'OLE WAR HORSE' ====> CRIMINAL TYPE

OUR NEXT AWARD IS ---- THE AWESOME AGAIN TROPHY
FOR THE ONE WHO REPEATS AN OUTSTANDING YEAR
AND THIS YEAR WE ARE PLEASED TO PRESENT THAT COVETED AWARD
TO REPEAT WINNER ~CRIMINAL TYPE~

IT IS NOW TIME TO PRESENT: THE WINNING RACE OF THE YEAR
TO PRESENT THIS AWARD IS A TRUE SUPERSTAR WHO KNOWS
HOW TO WIN A RACE OF THE YEAR ...... PLEASE WELCOME ---> ZENYATTA!
~~~~~

THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET CHEERING --- SCREAMING
AS THE FILLY SUPERSTAR TROTS UP TO THE STAGE
IT IS MY PLEASURE TO PRESENT THE TROPHY FOR THE
OUTSTANDING RACE OF THE YEAR TO ~JT DANCER~
** FOR WINNING THE ONLY ELUSIVE 3~PEAT OF THE YEAR!

WE WILL NOW TAKE A SHORT BREAK BEFORE PRESENTING
THE HIGHEST HONOR OF HORSE OF THE YEAR & CLOSING CEREMONIES

****************************************************

WELCOME BACK EVERYONE

WE ARE NOW GOING TO PRESENT THE HIGHEST HONOR OF ACHIEVEMENT
FOR THE YEAR 2013 ~ THE COVETED HORSE OF THE YEAR TROPHY

TO PRESENT THIS AWARD PLEASE WELCOME ..... MR SPOCK
TRANSPORTING DOWN FROM THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE

THANK YOU ROD ~
IT IS MY PLEASURE TO AWARD THE HORSE OF THE YEAR TO THE ONE
WHO WON THE FOLLOWING AWARDS & POINTS PLUS MONEY:
MID~WEEK MAYHEM
CAIXA ELETRONICA
CRAFTY PROSPECTOR
COLT OF THE YEAR
3 FROSTED WHISKERS
AWESOME AGAIN AWARD

IT IS THE ONLY LOGICAL CHOICE.....
THE HORSE OF THE YEAR 2013 IS ~CRIMINAL TYPE~

CONGRATS TO THE 'OLE WAR HORSE' WHO JUST KEEPS ON KEEPIN ON!
JUST LIKE FINE WINE, THIS HORSE SEEMS TO GET BETTER WITH AGE!
WELL DONE!

WILL ALL THE AWARD WINNERS PLEASE COME BACK UP ON STAGE
FOR ONE MORE ROUND OF APPLAUSE
FOR AN OUTSTANDING YEAR OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS

WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU ALL RUN NEXT YEAR!!!

*****************************************************

AS THE CROWD SLOWLY LEAVES HOLLYWOOD PARK
SADLY FOR THE VERY LAST TIME ~
A BLUE POLICE BOX CAN BE SEEN IN THE DISTANCE
SPINNING UP... UP .... AND AWAY ...... IN THE WINK OF AN EYE

ON BOARD THE DOCTOR IS WONDERING WHAT EFFECT THIS ADVENTURE
HAS HAD ON HIS COMPANIONS ~~

GRUMPY CAT ..... SOMEWHAT A-MEWSED ...... MANAGES A GRIN THAT RESEMBLES
A GRUMPY VERSION OF THE CHESHIRE CAT

QRFUFFL APPEARS NOT QUITE AS BORED ---
BUT HAVING DISCOVERED THE DUCK DYNASTY ON TV ~
NOW IS QUESTIONING THE MENTAL STATE OF EARTHLINGS.......

GANDALF & FRODO WILL BE DROPPED OFF AT THE SHIRE
WITH THE ORIGINAL 'PRECIOUS' SAFELY KEPT BY FRODO
WITH NO THREAT BY GOLLUM WHO WENT OFF TO LURK SOMEWHERE

AS THE DOCTOR WATCHES HOLLYWOOD PARK SLOWLY DISAPPEAR
A SHATTERING HORRENDOUS NOISE CAN BE HEARD

"EXTERMINATE ---- EXTERMINATE ---- EXTERMINATE"

THE DOCTOR IS HORRIFIED TO SEE A FLEET OF DALEKS
APPROACHING .... THEIR ONLY GOAL IS EXTERMINATE HOLLYWOOD PARK

--- AND PIECE BY PIECE EVERYTHING IS TORN DOWN AND DESTROYED ---

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE ~ 75 YEARS OF HISTORY IS GONE
NOTHING REMAINS BUT TOTAL DESTRUCTION.

SOMEHOW NO HUMANS OR ANIMALS WERE HARMED
THE DOCTOR MADE SURE OF THAT
QUICKLY TRANSPORTING THEM TO ANOTHER TRACK!

THEY WILL AWAKEN TOMORROW AT SANTA ANITA ..... WONDERING
ABOUT THE OUTRAGEOUS DREAM THEY HAD WHILE AT THE
'2013 MEOW~MIX AWARDS CEREMONY'

ALTHOUGH HUMANS LIVE IN A SUNLIGHT WORLD
THEY BELIEVE TO BE "REALITY" -----
THERE IS, UNSEEN BY MOST.... AN UNDERWORLD .....
A PLACE THAT IS JUST AS REAL
BUT NOT AS BRIGHTLY LIT --------> A DARK SIDE

THE DARK SIDE IS ALWAYS THERE WAITING TO ENTER
OR WAITING TO ENTER US
SO ENJOY THE SUNLIGHT OF EARTH!!

WE NOW RETURN CONTROL OF YOUR VIEWING SCREEN
AND YOU -----> TO YOUR OWN VERSION OF "REALITY"

WISHING YOU THE HAPPIEST NEW YEAR FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE!!!

~~Graphics By: TIGER DANCER

#2765

Racing / THE BARN BEFORE CHRISTMAS

December 22, 2013, 06:40:25 PM

**THE BARN BEFORE CHRISTMAS**

Twas The Night Before Christmas
The Barn Was A-Buzzzzz
With Whinnies And Nickers
'Cause That's What Horse Does!

The Legend Was Echoed
Through All Of The Walls
Excitement Was Mounting
In All Of The Stalls!

The Weanlings, In Wonder
Had Heard Of The Tale
As They All Gathered Round
To Munch On A Bale!

The Fillies, The Geldings,
The Stallions And Mares
Then Told Of The Legend
Amidst Wide Eyed Stares.

When All Of A Sudden
They Heard On The Roof
The Flutter Of Wings
The Landing Of Hoof!

His Wings How They Glistened
His Whinny So Proud
As He Entered The Barn
Astounding The Crowd.....

Who Stood There Awaiting
The Pegasus Dear
The Truth Of The Legend
Was Blatantly Clear!

The Rider Descended
From Pegasus' Back
His Hat And His Boots
Were Glistening Black

His Spurs How They Jingled
With A Wonderful Song
That Would Echo In Memories
For All The Year Long!

He Gave Out The Gifts
Of Carrots And Treats
Then Sprang To His Saddle
For A Hasty Retreat....

For The Hour Was Late
And He Just Had To Leave
But Now, All The Weanlings
Would Finally Believe!

And As Pegasus Flew Then
Away In The Night
The Horses Enchanted
By The Wondrous Sight

Had Hearts Filled With Joy
And The Barn Filled With Love
And Mares Will Tell Foals
Of Pegasus From Above!

#2766

Handicapping / The 2012 ~ TBC MEOW MIX AWARDS

December 05, 2013, 07:23:16 PM

***** {WITHOUT GRAPHICS -- SORRY} *****
GRAPHICS WERE LOST WHEN THE ORIGINAL THREAD CRASHED
DAYS OF RESEARCH ~ ENERGY ~ TIME BY TIGER DANCER
GONE WITH THE WIND BY HACKERS WHO APPARENTLY
HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THEIR TIME

AND NOW ON WITH THE SHOW

Once Upon A Time In A Faraway Land
Named Wonderland, Exceptional Horses
Were Honored For Achievement

Tonight We Continue That Tradition
Honoring Our Best Of The Best

Good Evening Everyone And Welcome
To The 2012 MEOW-MIX Awards

We have an Exciting Evening Ahead
With Some Additional New Awards This Year!

The Red Carpet Lined With Alfalfa
Is Ready And Waiting For The
Arrival of The Stars Of The 2012
Racing Season

Making The Presentations:
Please Welcome
Our Mistress Of Ceremonies:

** CHESHIRE CAT **
~~"WE'RE ALL MAD HERE"~~
"I'M NOT CRAZY... MY REALITY IS JUST DIFFERNT FROM YOURS"

Thank You ....

This Year Has Been One Of Surprises

We Have Seen Newcomers With Outstanding Ability, Humorous Moments,
Distressing Disappointments,
High Hopes & Dreams Fulfilled

The Highs And Lows Of Racing
The Peaks And Valleys
Some Days --- Real Quiet
Some Days --- A Bold Ruckus
Unbridled Excitement
A Touch Of Twisted Wit
Heartbreaking Losses
Phenomenal Photo Finishes!

Before We Begin with our first award
we would like to Honor the Reigning
HORSE OF THE YEAR

======> CRIMINAL TYPE <======

This Amazing Older Stallion Accomplished Something That
No Other Has Ever Done

He Finished The Year Being
SS / MM / BOTS Champion
Colt Of The Year
Race Of The Year (3--Peat)
Track Record ($244)
On Breeders Cup Day

And The Top Honor
HORSE OF THE YEAR

How Awards Are Determined:
Winners Are Based On POINTS

A Point Is Awarded Per Win
Thru The Year

In The Event Of A Tie
The Most $$ Decides Champion

And Now May I Present
The Shining Stars Of 2012

CRIMINAL TYPE => H.O.T.Y

RUFFIAN => F.O.T.Y

DUSTY ==> 2010 H.O.T.Y

KD => Distorted Humor Award

TY88

EL PRADO

GOTADUN-QH

REAL QUIET

HORSE CRAZY GAL
==> Most Improved Award

TIGER DANCER
==> Rookie Of The Year

JOHN HENRY

JT DANCER

FLUTE

COACH V

ROC-525

Our First NEW Award This Year

* AT THE THRESHOLD
Those To Watch In 2013

JT DANCER
JOHN HENRY
COACH V
FLUTE
ALGOBBI
GOTADUN-QH
TY88
CIGARSHOP

Our Next NEW Award

* BRIDESMAID OF THE YEAR
Who Finished In The Money More
Often Without Winning

NOMINEES

JOHN HENRY
GOTADUN-QH
REAL QUIET
RUFFIAN

AND THE WINNER IS ---
REAL QUIET!
A Champion Waiting To Be Crowned

Our Next NEW Award
* THE FROSTED WHISKER

Those Who Attempted A 3-Peat
But Failed To Win It

A 3-Way DH

RUFFIAN
TY88
EL PRADO

Better Luck This Year!

Our Next NEW Award
* The LION HEART Award

Who Showed The Most Courage
Without Giving Up The Race

And The Winner Is
HORSE CRAZY GAL

Our Next NEW Award
* The THEATRICAL
Given For The Most Creative

Nominees
RUFFIAN (Poetry / Humor)
TIGER DANCER (Graphics)
DUSTY (Emoticons)

And The Winner Is ---

TIGER DANCER
Who Provided The Most
Theatrical, Entertaining
Graphics + Humor

Turning Race Calls Into
A Pure Laugh Fest!

*GRAPHIC OF THE YEAR

DECEMBER 26th
Midweek Mayhem
DUSTY'S 'EQUIPMENT'
At The Gate
CHECK IT OUT!

A NEW SPECIAL AWARD
* THE EDITORS NOTE
To DUSTY + REAL QUIET
For Their Time, Patience And
Dedication Every Week

* RISEN STAR AWARD
(ROOKIE OF THE YEAR)

A Newcomer Who Showed
Courage ~ Determination ~
The Ability To Run With The Best
To Face Defeat + Come Back To Win

NOMINEES:

GOTADUN-QH
TY88
JOHN HENRY
JT DANCER

*First Runner Up:
GOTADUN-QH

AND THE WINNER IS:
TY88
Winning
8 -- Midweek Mayhem
5 -- BOTS
4 -- Super Saturdays

OUR NEXT AWARD:
* 'MOST IMPROVED'

Nominees:
EL PRADO
Defeating Health Issues To Run
Like The Classy Filly She Has
Always Proven To Be

DUSTY
After Being Crowned HOTY 2010
Returned In 2011 Failing To Duplicate
Her Amazing Record

But This Year Has Rebounded With
Outstanding Style And Class

AND THE WINNER IS: DUSTY

OUR NEXT AWARD

* The DISTORTED HUMOR
This Award Is For: Most Entertaining
Who Made Us Scream For More
Laugh Until Our Cheeks Were Hurting

And The WINNER Is ----
TIGER DANCER
Whose Twisted Wit + Clever Tricks
Left Us Roaring

KEEP US LAUGHING IN 2013!

Our Next Award

* LOST IN THE FOG
(MOST EMBARRASSING)
Award Is Based On:

WINNING With Lowest $$$
Spooking At Own Shadow
Stopping To Watch Birds + Lose
Refusing To Leave Gate
Escaping From The Gate
Being Fined For Interference
(Over And Over Again!)

NOMINEES:
JOHN HENRY
DUSTY
TIGER DANCER
RUFFIAN

Runner Up: TIGER DANCER
Losing Due To Railbirds
Fined For Interference Often

BUT THE WINNER ----
Winning With The LEAST Amount $$
DUSTY
MM --1/25 = $43.80
MM -- 2/29 = $43.90

========== ======= ======

We Now Take A Short Break
For The Half Time Show
And Then ...
Its The TOP Awards Of 2012

Fancy Feast Proudly Presents
The 2012 Awards Half Time Show

And Down The Rabbit Hole We Go!

One Race Makes You Taller
One Race Makes You Small
And The Ones U Think U Won
May Show Nothin Won At All!

We Now Are Attending The
Queen Of Hearts Tea Party
In Wonderland

MC: The Mad Hatter

Music Presented By: FLUTE
Choreography By: COACH

Opening The Show Are:

JT DANCER & TIGER DANCER
Performing A Tantalizing Tango
With Exquisite Dance Moves

Audience Has Begun To Dance
In The Aisles And Now All Join
In A Standing Ovation & Roaring
For The Feline Duo Routine

And Now We Proudly Present
The Fabulous Fantasy Fashion Show

The Spotlight Is On The Alfalfa
Lined CatWalk As A Hush Falls Over
The Crowd ~ In Anticipation

Opening The Fashion Show Are

The Cheetah Girl & Tiger Dancer
Strutting Their Stuff And Displaying
Their Fantastic Fabulous Fur Coats

PETA Was Prevented From Entering
The Awards Ceremony!

And Now.....

Our First Contender For The
Coveted Bridesmaid Of The Year
Award ~

JOHN HENRY
Jubilant In His Jade Jacquard Gown
Sparkling With Sequins + Gemstones

What A Grande Entrance To Lead Off
Our Fantasy Fashion Show

Next To Walk Down The Aisle
GOTADUN-QH

Breathtaking In Her Glorious Gorgeous GoldenRod Gossamer Organza Gown

Looking Like She Just Stepped Out Of
Fashion First Magazine

Our Final Contender For This Award

REAL QUIET
Wow! The Crowd Is On Their Feet
As Real Quiet Makes His Entrance
Lavishly Adorned In A Magnificent
Floor Length Strapless Gown
Of Hot Pink Plether

*(No 'Real' Leather Was Permitted
In This Show To Appease PETA)

A Flashy Fascinator Balanced
Precariously Upon His Head With
Hot Pink Feathers Gently Wavering
What A Magnificent Display Of Beauty

O NO!!!!

Something Has Caused A Major
Bold Ruckus On The Runway

People Are Scattering Like A
Tornado Was In Sight....
What Could It Be To Cause
Such A Fury? Such A Kerfuffle!

We Can See Now What Has
Caused This UpRoar!

Its TIGER DANCER Who
Suddenly Noticed All The
Fascinators & Feathers.....

Which Always Have Distracted
Her On The Track And Now
Apparently Also On The Runway!

The Queen Of Hearts Shouts Out
"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

Animal Control Security Has Been
Called & They Have Tranquilized The
Naughty Tiger Dancer Who Has Been
Gently Led Off The Runway And Will
Be Able To Sleep It Off BackStage

There Will Be NO Beheading Tonight!
Order has been restored

To Put Your Minds At Rest ---

NO Animals Were Harmed In The
Awards Presentation Ceremony!

After A Short Break For Refreshment
We Return With The Presentation Of
The Top Awards Of 2012 And The
Crowning Of HORSE OF THE YEAR

We Are Back Now With The Final
Presentations Awards For 2012

A Black Tie Affair Honoring The
Highest Achievements In Racing

We Begin With:

* THE CAIXA ELETRONICA Award
(aka: Cash Machine)
Most Money Earned In A Day $$$

AND THE WINNER IS ---
RUFFIAN = $202.20

* The CRAFTY PROSPECTOR Award
Most Money Earned In The Year

In 3rd Place
KD With $1195.40

In 2nd Place
RUFFIAN With $1201.30

AND THE WINNER IS -----
CRIMINAL TYPE = $1334.20

***** MIDWEEK MAYHEM Champion *****

In 2nd Place: DUSTY {7 }

AND THE WINNER IS
TY88 With 8 Victory Gallops!

***** SUPER SATURDAY Champion *****

In 2nd Place: Criminal Type {8}

AND THE WINNER IS
RUFFIAN With 9 Cheetah Wins

***** 2012 B.O.T.S CHAMPION *****
{Battle Of The Sexes}

In 3rd Place: RUFFIAN {3}
In 2nd Place: KD {4)

AND THE WINNER IS
TY88 With 5 Wins For The Fillies

***** FILLIES 2O12 BOTS CHAMPIONS *****

* FILLY OF THE YEAR
Very Close This Year
Only 1 Point Separates This Duo

RUFFIAN With 16 Points
TY88 With 1 More = 17 Points

RUFFIAN With $1201.30
TY88 With $1122.20
(Just $79 Less In Earnings)

Very Close Photo Finish
Almost A Dead Heat But ---

THE F.O.T.Y GOES TO
=====> TY88 <=====

Who As The Rookie Of The Year
Now Had Added Filly Of The Year
To Her Awards Shelf .. Along With
MIDWEEK MAYHEM CHAMPION
BOTS CHAMPION

Kind Of Reminds Us Of Last Year
Watching Criminal Type Trot Up
To Receive Award After Award!

***** COLT OF THE YEAR *****

An Amazing + Shocking Finish
For This Award As The Outcome
Was Decided In The Final Moments
Of The Last Race Of The Year!

A Neck & Neck Battle
With 1 Point The Difference!
Going Into That Last Super Saturday

A Virtual Dead Heat For The Award
The Tie Breaker Of DH Is MONEY
Both Finalists Finished With 14 Points

As A Result Of The Tie Breaker
KD Finishes In 2nd Place {$1195.40}

AND THE WINNER IS ---

CRIMINAL TYPE {$1334.20}

Winning This Award Has Led To A
NEW AWARD This Year

* The 'AWESOME AGAIN' Award
Given To The Horse Who Repeats
The Following Year With An Impressive
Record

And The 1st Time Recipient Is
CRIMINAL TYPE
The Reigning 2011 HOTY
Who In 2012 Has Captured

CRAFTY PROSPECTOR Award
And COLT OF THE YEAR
2nd In Super Saturday Award

***** RACE OF THE YEAR *****

With No 3~Peat Accomplished
The Judges Have Decided That
The Race Of The Year Is:

December 29th: Super Saturday

As The Reigning HOTY
Criminal Type Fired A Winning Shot
Finishing The Year As He Began -
In Victory ~

Earning Colt Of The Year In A
Thrilling Photo Finish...

And Now We Come To The
Highest Honour Of The Night

The 2012
HORSE OF THE YEAR

Finishing In 2nd Place: RUFFIAN

2nd In Overall Points, ~
2nd In Crafty Prospector Award ~
2nd In Filly Of The Year
* Super Saturday Champion
* Caixa Eletronica Award

But Just Not Enuff For Top Spot
Even As A Cheetah!

* Garnering 17 Points
* MM + BOTS Champion
* Risen Star Award
* Filly Of The Year

Meow Mix Is Proud To Crown

TY88 As The 2012
HORSE OF THE YEAR!

What An Achievement For Any
But How Incredible For A Rookie!

A Buffet Of Meow Mix + Fancy Feast
Along With Manna Pro Horse Treats
Await Our Guests & Stars Of The Year

We Bid You A Good Evening
And A Happy + Safe New Year

~ SEE YOU NEXT YEAR ~

#2767

Racing / Re: MY PICK OF THE DAY!

November 18, 2013, 07:08:33 PM

PURRRFECT IDEA

MIGHT BE NICE TO HAVE CONTESTS IN THEIR OWN DIVISION :chickendance:
==> aka Contests Only

RACING FORUM USUALLY IS FOR

General Discussions About Horses
Who U Like --- Who Ya Don't
Trainer / Jockey Opinions
Rising Stars To Keep Eyes On
Opinions On Current Racing News

Hope This Helps

#2768

Racing / Re: MY PICK OF THE DAY!

November 17, 2013, 02:58:07 PM

RAVEN
Would Like To Suggest That You Start A Thread On RACING FORUM Instead
That Is Where General DISCUSSIONS Take Place About The Horses
That Way Others Can Post Their Personal Picks & Why They Like Them

HANDICAP FORUM
Is For Contests
Hope To See U Back In The Gate Again Soon! :chickendance:

#2769

Handicapping / Re: MM SPOOKTACULAR RESULTS ~ 10/30

October 31, 2013, 06:53:14 PM

U AINT EVEN CLOSE!

WE JUST LOVE YOUR RACE CALLS
SO WE RUN XTRA GOOD!

#2770

Handicapping / MM SPOOKTACULAR RESULTS ~ 10/30

October 31, 2013, 11:54:16 AM

WELCOME TO MIDWEEK MAYHEM AT DELTA DOWNS
WE HAVE A SPECTACULAR CARD TODAY AND ----

HOLD ON FOLKS....
JUST GETTING WORD THAT A HUGE DISTURBANCE
HAS BROKEN OUT ON THE TRACK

APPARENTLY A BIZARRE GROUP OF "CHARACTERS"
BROKE THRU BARRIERS AND ARE CAUSING A
MAJOR KERFUFFLE ON THE TRACK

GOING IN FOR A CLOSER LOOK TO SEE WHAT
THIS IS ALL ABOUT

SECURITY HAS BEEN NOTIFIED

THERE IS JUDGE JUDY NEAR THE INFIELD RAIL
OVERHEARD TELLING A FAN~
"WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!"

A FEW YARDS AWAY THERE IS RUMPLESTILTSKIN
MUTTERING TO HIMSELF SOMETHING ABOUT
HAY ~ GOLD & THE PRECIOUS

THE CROWD IS IN AWE OF A WIZARD WHO
APPEARS TO BE TOSSING SPARKLE FAERY DUST
ONTO THE PEOPLE

WE SEE A FIGURE CROUCHING UNDER A BUSH ~
ITS DAFFY DUCK WHO SEEMS TO HAVE HEARD
RUMORS THAT SI ~ PHIL & JACE FROM DUCK DYNASTY
ARE ATTENDING TODAY'S EVENTS
AND AFTER ALL IT IS DUCK SEASON EVE!

TAUNTING THE FANS AT THE RAIL IS
RODEO BARBIE WITH A LASSO IN ONE HAND
AND A SIGN IN THE OTHER THAT SAYS ~
"DUMB BLONDE JOKES ARE 1 LINERS ...
SO MEN CAN UNDERSTAND THEM!"
THIS IS RESULTING IN SOME CHEERS &
SOME DISGRUNTLED BOOING

IT SEEMS THAT SOME CHILDREN ARE RUNNING
IN FEAR AWAY FROM THE TRACK ....
NOW WE SEE WHY
IT'S CHUCKY WHO IS MENACING THEM
GRINNING LIKE A SCAREY BABOON

TRYING TO MAINTAIN A SENSE OF BALANCE IS
STORM ~ A CONSORT WITH THE X-MEN
WHOSE CAPE IS ALMOST LIFTING HER OFF THE
GROUND DUE TO THE HUFFING & PUFFING OF
HOT AIR FROM THE BIG BAD WOLF!

AND NOW SOME OF THE FANS ARE SCREAMING
IN HORROR AS A HEADLESS HORSEMAN IS
HEADING UP THE TRACK

BUT SOMEONE IS FOLLOWING HIM IN STEALTH MODE
IT'S THE NIGHT STALKER, KOLCHAK...
CAREFULLY WATCHING EVERY MOVE

SECURITY HAS ARRIVED ALONG WITH THE
TRACK OFFICIALS TO DETERMINE WHAT IS
CAUSING THIS FRUCKUS!

AFTER SPEAKING WITH THE VARIOUS HOOLIGANS
ON THE TRACK, IT WAS LEARNED THAT THEY
EACH THINK THEY ARE BETTER ~ STRONGER ~
FASTER THAN THE OTHERS & WANT THE TRACK
TO ALLOW THEM TO PROVE IT!

TRACK MANAGEMENT AGREED BUT ALSO REALIZED
THAT CONSIDERING THEIR SIZE, DEMEANOR AND
ATTITUDES ...
A REGULATION STARTING GATE WON'T WORK

THEREFORE THEY WILL BE ASSEMBLED AT A
STARTING LINE & WAIT FOR THE TRACK ANNOUNCER
TO GIVE THE SIGNAL OF .... "BOOOOO!"

SECURITY HAS ASSISTED IN GETTING EVERYONE LINED UP
WITHOUT TOO MUCH OF A FUSS

AND THEY ARE READY TO RUN!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

AND THEY'RE OFF IN THE SPOOKTACULAR EVENT!

TAKING AN EARLY LEAD ARE

DAFFY DUCK TRYING TO ESCAPE
FROM THE DUCK DYNASTY GUYS

THE WIZARD & RODEO BARBIE

JUST OFF OF THAT TRIO ARE
KOLCHAK & CHUCKY

THE BIG BAD WOLF & RUMPLESTILTSKIN
ARE NEXT

JUDGE JUDY SEEMS TO BE INDIFFERENT TO THE WHOLE IDEA OF RUNNING
AND GOING ALONG AT HER OWN RATE OF SPEED WHICH IS PRETTY SLOW

AND AT THE BACK IS STORM TRYING TO
STAY IN FRONT OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
WHO IS SCARING EVERYONE IN FRONT OF HIM

HEADING INTO THE STRETCH

KOLCHAK NOW APPARENTLY CONFIDENT THAT HE
HAS NO NEED TO BE STALKING THOSE IN FRONT
OF HIM HAS MADE A LIGHTNING MOVE TO THE
FRONT

THE WIZARD NOT QUITE SURE OF HIS INTENTIONS
AS BEING HONORABLE IS STAYING RIGHT THERE
WITH HIM

CHUCKY & RUMPLESTILTSKIN ARE TUCKED IN
JUST BEHIND THE WIZARD

RODEO BARBIE & DAFFY DUCK
SIDE BY SIDE ARE NEXT

AND NOW THE BIG BAD WOLF HAS HIS EYE
ON STORM HUFFING & PUFFING EVEN HARDER
ALMOST LIFTING STORM'S CAPE LIKE A PARACHUTE

AT THE BACK REMAINS THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN
WITH EVERYONE IN FRONT OF HIM APPEARING TO
BE RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES!

AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME

KOLCHAK GIVING UP HIS STALKING M.O.
HAS SETTLED COMFORTABLY INTO THE LEAD

THE WIZARD NOW TOSSING HIS SPARKLE DUST
INTO THE AIR IS CATCHING UP TO
THE NIGHT STALKER WITH EVERY STRIDE

CHUCKY & RUMPLESTILTSKIN STILL NECK & NECK

AND THE FINISH LINE IS JUST AHEAD
NO PHOTO FINISH TODAY FOLKS!

THE NIGHT STALKER
HAS PROVEN WITHOUT A DOUBT
WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF THEM ALL

THE WIZARD
Still Sparkling Must Be Content With 2nd
~ Not A Happy Wizard Who Usually Controls
His Destiny In All Situations

CHUCKY ~ Smiling With A Fearsome Grin is 3rd

RUMPLESTILTSKIN
Crosses The Line in 4th
Still Muttering About Finding "THE PRECIOUS"
Which Apparently... HE HAS!

ALSO RAN

RODEO BARBIE (Blonde & Happy)
DAFFY DUCK (Escapes From The Duck Dynasty Guys)
JUDGE JUDY (Still Indifferent To It All)
THE BIG BAD WOLF (Frustrated At Not Catching Storm)
STORM (Safe From Wolfie For Now)

AND WAY AT THE BACK....

THE FEARSOME HEADLESS HORSEMAN
WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS WONDERING
WHERE HE IS AND WHY HE CAN'T FIND THE
FINISH LINE

AFTER A BRIEF NEWS CONFERENCE
THE TRACK OFFICIALS DECLARED THAT
NO FINES WOULD BE IMPOSED
BUT INSTEAD-----

THE HAPPY HERD OF HOOLIGANS WOULD
RECEIVE SOME MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR
ENTERTAINING THE CROWD

MONEY DETERMINED BY THE ORDER OF FINISH

KOLCHAK = $112.50 (FlintKnapper)
THE WIZARD =$72.60 (Dusty: DC)
CHUCKY =$57 (John Henry)
RUMPLESTILTSKIN = $52 (Criminal Type)

RODEO BARBIE = $51.20 (GotaDunQH)
DAFFY DUCK = $42.90 (Elite Mercedes)
JUDGE JUDY = $34.60 (Ruffian)
BIG BAD WOLF = $33.60 (Cigarshop)
STORM = $18.60 (Tiger Dancer)
HEADLESS HORSEMAN = $14.80 (KD)

WE NOW BID U A SAFE, SOBER NON TEXTING
DRIVE HOME & HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

#2771

Handicapping / THANK YOU

October 25, 2013, 08:51:40 AM

**SS - TD BIRTHDAY RESULTS**

GOOD AFTERNOON -&- WELCOME
TO SUPURRR SATURDAY
COMING FROM GULFSTREAM PARK
OUR FEATURE EVENT: {T-D-B-B-R}
THE ''TIGER DANCER
BODACIOUS BIRTHDAY ROAR-O-RAMA'' STAKES

With the late scratch of Raven ...

Defending Champion ~Post Time Mike~
Will Have 11 Contentious Challengers
Trying To Prevent Another Repeat Romp

The Thrilling Twinkling Twelve
Are in the gate and ready to Run

And Away They Go In
The Tiger Dancer Birthday Roar-o-Rama

It's A Frantic Fierce Foursome Fight For The Lead
Tiger Dancer ~ Zippy ~ Blunny ~ Digger

It's several lengths back to
Ruffian ~ Dusty ~ Real Quiet ~ Senator

Another Gap Back To
Roamin ~ Post Time Mike ~ Cruzan ~ Catalina

~TOP OF THE STRETCH~

It is now Digger By 1/2 length
Over Zippy ~ Real Quiet + Tiger Dancer

Cruzan suddenly discovered his Inner Power
Gaining ground quickly on the leaders
Zippy also finding his best running style
Right there with Digger

~AND DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME~

Digger Continues to show the way
But his lead is dwindling quickly

Zippy and Cruzan are flying
Up the middle of the track
Catalina and Blunny also
Finding their best stride now

But suddenly ...
The crowd is on their feet
Screaming like Banshees
All eyes focused on ....

The Birthday Filly Herself ~Tiger Dancer~
ROARING like Her Namesake

Passing one after another after another

And now has taken over the lead!

Digger Is right on her tail 😳
Zippy just a Length behind Digger
Cruzan ~ Catalina ~ Blunny are next

Another several lengths back
To Dusty and Real Quiet

Followed by
Senator ~ Roamin ~ {DC}Post Time Mike

And Ruffian Who apparently left her
"Inner Cheetah" Back In The Barn

NOW WE CAN HEAR ABBA IN THE BACKGROUND
SINGING: 'DANCING QUEEN'
AS TIGER DANCER LEADS THE FIELD TO THE WIRE
AND IRONY RULES THE DAY

TIGER DANCER WINS
THE TIGER DANCER BIRTHDAY ROAR-O-RAMA

Just another example of the saying
It Ain't over until that Stout Lady Sings
And the song she sings today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIGER DANCER

$$--OFFICIAL TOTALS--$$

1st ~ TIGER DANCER ===> $78.00
~WINNER~

2nd ~ DIGGER ♠️ ===> $74.60
Exceptional effort just a few whiskers short of victory

ZIPPY⚡️ ===> $65.20
Catches the Bodacious Bouquet
~BODACIOUS BOUQUET~

4th ~ CRUZAN ===> $58.00
~RING-THIEF~

~~ALSO RAN~~

CATALINA ===> $57.10

BLUNNY🐇 ===> $53.60

DUSTY🌪 ===> $43.90

REAL QUIET ===> $43.30

SENATOR ===> $39.70

ROAMIN ===> $28.80

{DC}POST TIME MIKE ===> $28.20

RUFFIAN ===> $15.20
Adding to the IRONY of the day ~ Big Cat Diary Edition
TIGER IN PENTHOUSE
CHEETAH IN CAT HOUSE

We now bid farewell to Florida
As we heard The Tiger Roar
A dozen wonderful runners
Who could ask for anything more

HAPPY HOLIDAY OF YOUR CHOICE TO ALL

~GRAPHICS BY: TIGER DANCER~

**************************************************
WANNA GIVE A BIG CAT ROAR OF GRATITUDE
TO THOSE WHO NOW HAVE GIVEN US A NEW PLACE
TO HANG OUR BRIDLES ON! :-*

MEOW MIX & CATNIP TO U! =^,,^=

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Messages - RUFFIAN

Handicapping / Re: ~MEOW-MIX AWARDS - 2013~

Handicapping / Re: ~MEOW-MIX AWARDS - 2013~

Handicapping / Re: ~MEOW-MIX AWARDS - 2013~

Handicapping / ~2013 MEOW-MIX AWARDS~

Racing / **THE BARN BEFORE CHRISTMAS**

Handicapping / ** The 2012 ~ TBC MEOW MIX AWARDS **

Racing / Re: MY PICK OF THE DAY!

Racing / Re: MY PICK OF THE DAY!

Handicapping / Re: MM SPOOKTACULAR RESULTS ~ 10/30

Handicapping / MM SPOOKTACULAR RESULTS ~ 10/30

Handicapping / THANK YOU

Racing / THE BARN BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Handicapping / The 2012 ~ TBC MEOW MIX AWARDS